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Need help with my letter to JB
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 5:13 am
by mobuttu
English not being my mother language, I'd like for any of you to help me write it. Here's what I tried. Could you please review it for grammar/spelling errors. Thanks
Dear Mr. Bruckheimer,
I’ve read your are interested in doing a Rifts movie.
PLEASE DO IT!
I’m a huge fan of both Rifts role-playing game and your works on such productions as CSI, Pirates of the Caribbean, Black Hawk, etc. (In fact, I have been following your carrier since Top Gun.)
I’m writing to tell you that I would really like to see a Rifts movie full of action and drama, and I’m sure only a producer like you can take the most of the Rifts setting richness.
Rifts it’s the top-notch combination of Fantasy and Sci-fi genres in a blend (I bet) never before seen in any movie, that can like both Rifts fans and a wide broad of audience.
So, again, Please do it, I’m sure you’ll never regret.
Thanks for your attention.
Sincerely,
Re: New help with my letter to JB
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 7:23 am
by Prince Artemis
mobuttu wrote:English not being my mother language, I'd like for any of you to help me write it. Here's what I tried. Could you please review it for grammar/spelling errors. Thanks
Dear Mr. Bruckheimer,
I’ve read your are interested in doing a Rifts movie.
PLEASE DO IT!
I’m a huge fan of both the Rifts role-playing game and your work on such productions as CSI, Pirates of the Caribbean, Black Hawk, etc. In fact, I have been following your carrier since Top Gun.
I’m writing to tell you that I would really like to see a Rifts movie full of action and drama, and I’m sure only a producer like you can make the most of the rich Rifts setting .
Rifts is a top-notch combination of Fantasy and Sci-fi genres in a blend I bet has never been seen before in any movie. I'm sure that it will be enjoyed by both Rifts fans and a much broader of audience.
So, again, please do it, I’m sure you’ll never regret it.
Thanks for your attention.
Sincerely,
I edited it directly to be a little clearer for English, but honestly there wasn't that much to fix.
Re: New help with my letter to JB
Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2009 8:34 am
by mobuttu
Thank you very much!
Re: Need help with my letter to JB
Posted: Sat Jan 17, 2009 3:36 pm
by Xar
"carrier" should be "career."
I suggest the following revision of one paragraph.
"Rifts is a top-notch combination of Fantasy and Sci-fi genres in a blend I bet has never been seen before in any movie. I'm sure that it will be enjoyed by Rifts fans and will also appeal to several other audiences as well."
Re: Need help with my letter to JB
Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 11:07 am
by Prince Artemis
CommonDialog wrote:Xar wrote:"carrier" should be "career."
I suggest the following revision of one paragraph.
"Rifts is a top-notch combination of Fantasy and Sci-fi genres in a blend I bet has never been seen before in any movie. I'm sure that it will be enjoyed by Rifts fans and will also appeal to several other audiences as well."
Just my 2 cents...isn't there already a form letter? I'd use that so as to not get Kev in trouble.
I posted about it doing the letter drive a few days before Kevin and this guy was writing his letter before Kevin posted.
Besides, writing original letters isn't something that would get kev in trouble.
Re: Need help with my letter to JB
Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 12:42 pm
by Shawn Merrow
CommonDialog wrote:Xar wrote:"carrier" should be "career."
I suggest the following revision of one paragraph.
"Rifts is a top-notch combination of Fantasy and Sci-fi genres in a blend I bet has never been seen before in any movie. I'm sure that it will be enjoyed by Rifts fans and will also appeal to several other audiences as well."
Just my 2 cents...isn't there already a form letter? I'd use that so as to not get Kev in trouble.
Wrote and original letter and Kevin had no problem with it. Also an original letter shows more effort on your part and hence more passionate about it.