The Inquisition Faction is online

[Stattick]

http://www.angelfire.com/dragon3/statti ... ition.html

The Inquisition Faction is online.

It's not complete, but close. I still need to add the new character classes associated with The Inquisition. I will also be adding write-ups on several important NPC's. Also, I still need to include a brief discription of some of the specialized equiptment that The Inquisition uses.

LMK what you think. Are there other areas that I need to flesh out more? BTW, I think I forgot to spell check it, but I don't have time to do it right now, I have to get ready for work.

[Stattick]

I'd rewrite this first paragraph. In particular, the first four sentences. Make it a little more enticing and a little more subtle.

I think you're right. Part of the problem is that I was trying to keep it as short as possible, and left out a bunch of stuff, and cut some corners. It's hard to rewrite 600+ years of history and keep it short.

I don't like this part (Black Death caused by the Nightlords). Undermines the seriousness of this kind of natural disaster

Perhaps. I questioned whether to do it. But I do think it's the kind of thing that the Nightlords would try, and it adds tension to the seriousness of the war. It also adds potential story hooks too.

I don't like the idea that they often work together (Inquisition & Lightbringers).... ....Good idea here, but needs some tweaking.... I would change 'many' to 'a few' (nightbane remember The Burning Times)

I was in a hurry writing that part, and I think it shows.

Other comments:

- Overall, lots of good material, but a little too long, and a little to DiVinci Code for my blood. I think there needs to me a bit more of a twist to the way the organization developed.

- It's interesting that the 5th branch is run by supernatural creatures, but I don't like the idea that it's Nightbane or Guardians. Vampires would be far more interesting - especially given the blood/flesh fetishes that are used in the Catholic religions. Or, as an alternative, make them Necromancers. Not evil, per se ... but certainly all motivated by a higher power and their strong faith when they were mortals.

Yeah, a little too long. I just can't figure out what I can cut out.

DiVinci Code? Sorry, I haven't read the book, so I can't comment, as I don't understand your comment.

As far as twists and the 5th branch... Brother Dominic has drank from the holy grail, and is over 1500 years old. He got involved in the inquistion in the early days during the albasinian crusade (church vs cathars), but it took him A LONG TIME to get into a high position of power as he WASN'T born as a natural leader, a monks are usually alot lower on the totem pole the priests. He started gaining control during the 1600's. And yes, he could have eventually become the power behind the pope if he'd wanted.... And Father Drayk is the last of the dragons. His mother was killed by St. George. Drayk spent over 1000 years searching the globe, but never found a mate. Circumstances brought these two together, and they ended up becoming friends. Eventually, Drayk joined Dominic in the inquisition as a way to subvert the inquisition's jihad against ALL supernatural creatures. Drayk is the leader of the fifth branch. Given the right leverage, it's possible he could turn against the rest of the inquisition, possibly taking the 5th branch with him.

BTW, I totally disagree with vampires. Necromancers? I dunno.....

[Stattick]

"Black Plague as Nightlord Biological Weapon" didn't sit well with me.

Well, if everyone ends up saying that, then I might just change that part... I'll have to wait & see what others say.

Darn, and I was looking forward to writing up a Nightlord "plague master"....

I was thinking that Magog would still harbor ill feelings toward the Black Plague fiasco, and that the "plague master" would still be a "persona nongrata" that had got caught on the earthside of the mirror wall during the 1200's. I was actually envisioning a scenario where the Nightlords might actually team up with some of the factions temporarily to take out the "plague master", as another great plague like the black death would seriously screw up the nightlords' plans.

[Stattick]

David (and everyone else for that matter),

Don't be worried about 'being delicate' with me. I've got a thick skin. I won't be offended if some people don't like it at all, or it's hated or what not. Frankly, yeah that would be great if everyone loved it, but I write and GM for the same reason - because I like to. If others enjoy my stuff, then that's icing on the cake. On the other hand, I appreciate candor and critisism, because it helps me write better. So don't worry about hurting my feelings, or me getting mad at you.

Frankly, this is a new type of writing for me. I usually just write fiction, not this quasi-historical stuff, trying to be fair and balanced to a religion that I don't particularly care for. And then trying to make sure that it's fun, playable, balanced, and fits with the overall world that someone else created. And than there's game mechanics too. I think all writers are insane!

Hmm... I think I could have done a better job on writing the black death part too. Just trying to save space. Basically, the nightlords did it, because they were having their butts handed to them by the inquisition, and hoped to take out the catholic and orthodox centers of power. They didn't plan on a world wide plague of that magnatude. On the other hand, I see why people aren't liking it. The Nightlords are immortal, so they could just slowly infiltrate and corrupt right? I guess what I was thinking is that europe was the foothold that they'd gotten on this world, and didn't want to get pushed back out and have to start anew elsewhere. Maybe if i'd articulated these ideas better, it would have gotten a better reception. Then again, it might just be a lousy idea.

Yeah, definately crazy,
Stat

[Stattick]

well, i should be able to get the OCC's and other mentioned material written up next week.

well, i haven't gotten much feedback from this, but i think from the few comments recieved, that i'll need to do a rewrite, with alot less historical detail, a few changes, and a little more current info. but i'm gonna finish what's up before considering a rewrite. I think that'll make it easier to grasp and use if it's shorter, but I could include the historical detail in another supplemental document and leave that on my site in case anyone ever wants to use it for a historical campaign.

until i get a rewrite done up though, i'll leave the current info up on my site.

[RockJock]

I would see Flu pandemics as more of a Nightlord ploy then the Plague. The Black Death was fairly slow. The Potato Famine maybe.


I've just skimmed your material so far and it is a great start. What Occs do they use? Is there a connection between them and the Templars?

[Stattick]

I would see Flu pandemics as more of a Nightlord ploy then the Plague. The Black Death was fairly slow. The Potato Famine maybe.

which is why i envisioned the nightlords using it as a means to try to weaken the church's leadership, but it backfired and took out 1/3 of the population of europe.

I will probably do an eventual re-write, and take out the black plague stuff - no one likes it, and I felt iffy about it myself.

I've just skimmed your material so far and it is a great start. What Occs do they use?

well, i'll be working on that once i get a chance. i'll post here, in this thread when I update. current *CC'S that they use include psi-mystics, psi-healers, sorcerors, alchemists, and a small handful of ex-soldiers (mostly chaplains) and ex-police. Wasn't there a mystic warrior in one of the books? If so, this might work too, but might need adjustment if from Rifts. If not, I'll need to make one.

they have several unique character classes that I still have to write up:
PCC: Exorcist - a mystic that has specialized as a defender of mortals against the forces of evil

OCC: Gladius Magi - The infamous "sword mages" of the inquisition. These warriors have combined spellcasting with the more traditional martial sciences to a deadly effect. (some inspiration from the Battle Magi of Rifts, but definately not as powerful.)

OCC: i don't have a name yet - similar to a paladin from PFRPG, but modernized a bit.

I'm thinking of doing an adaption for a burster as well, but I dunno.

Is there a connection between them and the Templars?

I haven't had a chance to read up on the Templar stuff written up for the game yet, so not sure. Probably enemies, as The Inquisition tried to take them out during the Renaissance.

[RockJock]

Keep us posted with the updates.