Har har har now THAT IS FUNNY!!!!

[URLeader Hobbes]

Thought this forum could use a place to post funny stories and exchanges so please post em here!

So Thursday night we are playing a viking themed game. A barbarian, ranger, mercenary and a bard.

We come upon some great stones upon a hill which are covered in runes. The stones activate and each player received a vision which the GM delivered in a separate room away from the other players. So once we all awaken from the dream/vision state we start discussing the visions..

I (The Ranger) got a vision of a man on a boat and then a city under siege by the undead.
The Barbarian also got a vision of a man on a boat but also of a dragon attacking an army.
The Merc got a vision of cold water and a dragon being defeated.
The bard refused to share his vision and was clearly rattled by the experience..

The bard also wanted to keep the location of the stones secret stating we shouldn't tell anyone nor jot it down on any maps. After several minutes of trying to get him to talk about it he just absolutely refused.. So the group began discussing what we knew.. Since two people had visions of a dragon we decided that must be the direction we need to go in. This causes the bard to chime in and he begins to suggest it would be a bad course of action to follow..

Eventually he points out how a lot of people killed by dragons were running away and got set on fire and never stood a chance.. It's absolutely clear that this prospect is not only terrifying but also suicidal in his mind.

But being that the rest of us feel that there has to be some significance to it and that we will rise to the challenge and find a way to be victorious. In a last attempt to sway the party to abandon this course of action the bard then says "I just think if you stood outside the gates of Hel you wouldn't meet too many people who died fighting dragons."

To which the merc replies "Yeah cuz heroes who die fighting dragons go to Valhalla!"

[Lord_Dalgard]

Or even Giants. Just look out for nuns.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV5w262XvCU

[Alrik Vas]

To which the merc replies "Yeah cuz heroes who die fighting dragons go to Valhalla!"

Damn right.

[Svartalf]

There is a Valhalla in the Pally cosmology? You'd have to worship the Northern gods first, neh?

[Alrik Vas]

So many of the Palladium gods are Earth gods anyway. I don't see how it would be an issue. Plus, the were playing Viking characters so...yeah.

[Svartalf]

There are no vikings in Palladium, not in the Palladium world canon at least... the Northern navigators are the Bizantine, who have more of a renaissance level of civilisation and technology (minus printing press)

[kiralon]

The barbarians are pretty close to vikings

[Alrik Vas]

Besides...Vikings, for...reasons.

[Svartalf]

The barbarians are pretty close to vikings

Actually not... the vikings were great traders, which the Northern Barbarians are the reverse of... those barbarians are clannish and ultraterritorial misanthropes who solve every problem with violence... In fact they are not close to any real world civilisation I can think of, even Genghis Khan's or Tarmerlane's mongols, the kind that attacked ciuties and built towers of heads to commemorate the event... In the real world, politics played a great role in barbarian life...

[Tor]

The "Asgard" of PF is called Odguard, but I'm not sure if there's a specific equivalent to Valhalla to designate Od's home, though I may have overlooked it. He does have an assistant called "Vallisque" though.

[Alrik Vas]

Is their theme song called "Ride of the Choosers of the About to be Dead?"

[URLeader Hobbes]

The barbarians are pretty close to vikings

Actually not... the vikings were great traders, which the Northern Barbarians are the reverse of... those barbarians are clannish and ultraterritorial misanthropes who solve every problem with violence... In fact they are not close to any real world civilisation I can think of, even Genghis Khan's or Tarmerlane's mongols, the kind that attacked ciuties and built towers of heads to commemorate the event... In the real world, politics played a great role in barbarian life...

The campaign doesn't take place on the Palladium World.. (Or Palladia or KreLoc or whatever the hell it's called)

Homebrew world of the GM's creation.

So anyone else got any other funny stories?

[Alrik Vas]

Playing a samurai, goes home for training, the rest of the party comes with because they want to see my character's homeland.
Get to dojo, sensei is finishing up the days training. Sensei is a huge dude, he's basically a mountain. He sticks out like whoa, especially since my clan is a bunch of shifty gits (more rogue like).
Walk up to sensei, bow low, all the etiquette. Teach me oh great one.
He laughs, "Warriors must be strong! What makes you think you're worthy?"
Iaido makes me think i'm worthy. Quick draw katana ftw!
Jerk beats me in initiative, draws his warfan and parries the blow (by a hair), then proceeds to beat me senseless with it.
He likes my spunk though, tells me to come back tomorrow.
Next day, sneak into dojo, wait in his quarters for the ambush. He comes up, has someone with him, so I sneak onto the roof to wait. He's in the room, talking with an assistant...eventually I realize his assistant is talking to himself.
Oh crap, sensei knows I'm on the roof and he's coming for me.
Look up, there's the giant jerkface, armed with a kannebo (giant, metal studded club). I tend to use a dai-tsuchi (two handed sledge hammer), so i whip it out and charge up the roof at him, giving him a proper greeting.
"Sensei! Have you had rice today!?!"
He makes a face and responds, in all seriousness, "Yes I have! And it was stale, almost crunchy and that really makes me mad!"
Epic fight on the roof, but he's still better than me.
Bruised ribs, black eye, bloody face, spit out a tooth from the back of my mouth. Crap.
I prostrate, "Sensei, you're skills are greater than my own, please teach me."
He laughs again, "You couldn't beat me with force, so you try to slink about like a coward and when that fails you beg? I thought you came here to train!?"
So I get a little frustrated, "Well what do you expect when you're being such a jerk!?"
He laughs and tells me to come to class tomorrow.

So I show up. Actually end up impressing him during drills, show off the skills. It's clear he thinks I'm worthy, but he doesn't want to give it away. So...our Lord comes to the dojo with a guest (some high class tax collector type) and their retainers. The lord introduces everyone, we're all bowing etc etc.
Tax collector is unimpressed. My clan lives out in the woods, this guy says, "Well, you train fine for barbarians, but a true samurai's skills are more refined."
Lord suggests a match between Tax Collector's retainer and a student of my sensei's choosing. Sensei says, "TO show you how effective my training is, I'll pick the student who has only been here a single day." He glares at me, the message is clear bust this guy up and make him cry if necessary.
Dude is a dual wielder, chop-chop hack-n-slash death dealer. They say we use katana so I can’t use the hammer. Oh well, duel time. This is refined. Real duel. Stare at each other, look for weakness. My style is okay, his is amazing. Fortunately I know how to cheat. Swords fly out of saya (scabbard), shout like we’re falling off a cliff together, paired weapons coming right at me but wait! …flash of steel in the eye just like every cheesy duel in samurai flicks, holy crap it actually worked!
Drew blood with follow up attack, duel is over.
Tax collector is angry, Lord tells him, apologetically, “Well, we’re quite cultured for barbarians.”
Sensei laughs out loud, class dismissed, I get to learn his super beatdown techniques.
Good times.

[asbjorn]

viking do exits in the Panthons of the Megaverse as well as the Nordic Panthion, being a Megaversal gaming system Palladium viking characters could exit in the Palladium Fantasy setting. Infact it could be a really fun campain having a transplanted party betting confused with the Northern gods.

[kiralon]

Well, that is part of one of my amusing tails, I had been running a bts n&s blend game and the character had been having werewolf problems in London, then went to Stonehenge and got transported to palladiums northern areas. After a blizzard they setup camp and the guy on watch had thermal optics that still worked and saw a heap of wolfen coming to see what was going on. Out came the remaining silver ammo and they blasted away until one of the wolfen came forward with a flag of surrender, and one of the party members got a little tongue tied shouted out, this has been a mistake, we can never forgive you (rather then this is a mistake can you forgive us) and the fight continued until the wolfen were dead.

and same guy on the adventure where you have to go to that little in and try and infiltrate the pirates from a seedy tavern, they had talked about what the party was going to do and this guy, walks up to the barkeep, orders a drink, sits at a table with the meanest looking guy and says (after the party had planned differently and with a bad pirate accent) aaar, Ive always wanted to be a pirate. lets just say he wasn't successful in his endeavours to be a pirate.

[Alrik Vas]

This has been a mistake, we can never forgive you.

Great way to surrender, yeah.

[kiralon]

funny thing was he was serious about the truce, and the look on his face when he registered what he had said was hilarious.

[Svartalf]

viking do exits in the Panthons of the Megaverse as well as the Nordic Panthion, being a Megaversal gaming system Palladium viking characters could exit in the Palladium Fantasy setting. Infact it could be a really fun campain having a transplanted party betting confused with the Northern gods.

This is the frelling PFRPG forum, and I thought we were talking about the Palladium world.

[Hotrod]

The barbarians are pretty close to vikings

Actually not... the vikings were great traders, which the Northern Barbarians are the reverse of... those barbarians are clannish and ultraterritorial misanthropes who solve every problem with violence... In fact they are not close to any real world civilisation I can think of, even Genghis Khan's or Tarmerlane's mongols, the kind that attacked ciuties and built towers of heads to commemorate the event... In the real world, politics played a great role in barbarian life...

Most of the clans winter in Kadriel (the land of eternal autumn/harvest), so their territorial tendencies have reasonable limits, and some diplomacy between them must happen. I found the Kiridin barbarians to have a fair amount of depth to them when I made my map of Kiridin and the Northern Hinterlands. Each tribe has its own personality and distinctive traits, which I tried to symbolize in each territory's symbol.

Of course, they worship the Wild Ones (and a few others), and the Norse pantheon is unknown there, but the viking analogy isn't that far off. They're certainly well-known for raiding their neighbors (and each other).

[kiralon]

and they are pretty good ironsmiths

[MrShowtime]

Just a quick one-liner that has made us laugh for years every time the situation came up again...

During a quick stop in a local shop, the PC was a bit unhappy with the high prices of the shopkeeper but instead of just testing him with a low-ball price he chimes in with "I'd like to barter with you, sir!" and attempted to roll his barter skill.

To this day we pester said player anytime he enters a shop lol

[The Beast]

The "Asgard" of PF is called Odguard, but I'm not sure if there's a specific equivalent to Valhalla to designate Od's home, though I may have overlooked it. He does have an assistant called "Vallisque" though.

If someone tries to tell you that it's called Sovngarde they are wrong.