01: a monkey-bird!
02: a bird-monkey!
03: Fake monkey poo.
04: A poo flining monkey.
05: A monkey flinging fake poo
06: a fake monkey flinging poo
07: a fake monkey flinging fake poo
08: A Zombie Monkey Clown flinging rotting entrails.
09: A giant animated mound of poo flinging monkeys.
10: A large set of Revolvers themed after a deck of cards. You have four suits (Diamonds, Clubs, Swords, and hearts) with a set of revolvers patterned after it's suit( Swords are all gunblades and clubs are made to pistol whip people for example). The kings are all chambered in .500 S&W, Queens are chambered in .454 Casull, Jacks are chambered in .44 Remingtom Magnum and the number cards are all chambered in .357 magnum.
There is a Joker in the deck and it is a 40mm Grenade launcher.
11. A pair of revolvers with stylized monkey emblems on the grips (.454 Casull)
12. A pair of revolvers with stylized poo throwing monkey emblems on the grips (.45 poo)
13. A fully auto pistol that has an odd button on the barrel that makes hardened prongs pop out near the magazine well. It is like it is a weapon for some sort of gun toting monk. Gun-do, Gun-ryu, Gun-something.
13.a chia golem!
14.chia hair!plant it on your bald scalp & in 2-4 months you will have a loushos lock of green hair!
15: A shiny new hubcap from a 1958 Volkswagon 'Combi' van with the 'split' front windows. If worn on the head, will offer a +5 on saving throws vs magic & psionic mind control. But the wearer will also have a (5%) chance of attracting 1d4 long haired hippies a day for 1d4 days. These hippies will follow the wearer of the hubcap like a lost puppy. These hippies are vulnerable, and if killed, the wearer will find he's lost the hubcap somewhere. The hippies will also make a camp fire and sing 'hippie music' whenever the party stop for longer than 10 minutes.
16: A book titled: 'The Truth About Chuck Norris (400 facts about the worlds greatest human)'
17: A book titled: 'STARK' by Ben Elton
18: The complete collection of 'Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy' by Douglas Adams
19: Jack Sparrows compass
20: An undead monkey
21: A still beating heart in a box
22: A box of Fire Crackers
23: A box of TP after going through half the box do you realize... it's already used
24: Finger sandwiches (yes they are fingers but that is toe jam, who would eat th... roll initiative)
25: One case of vortex grenades (40K reference, don't throw unless you want some things to go away... maybe even you)
26: The number 42... now you have your answer go away.
27: A wedgie board (yes I spelled it the way I want it instead of ouija) it has the instructions for a ouija board but when asked any questions its answer is always an atomic wedgie, pray to your deities that you have some underwear on.
28: A bottle of Coke, full of urine. Found on the side of the road.
29: A package of Hot Wheels cars.
30: A complete sterling silver tea set with serving tray.
31: A complete set of Rifts CCG... "what is this? Is it intel data some C.S. guy dropped?"
32: A Red Ray version of "The Princess Bride". The next words out of your characters mouth, and anytime thereafter that something perplexes him/her is... "Thath Iconthevable!"
There is a 25% chance you may refer to something like dog boys as C.O.U.S. or Rhino Buffalo as B.O.U.S. etc.
You have a +25% save vs. Coma and always save vs. Death... don't worry cuz you just mostly dead.
For whatever reason you despise anyone who has six fingers on their right hand... its like they killed your father and they should prepair to die.
You have a 15% chance to start rhyming the last word your closest friend says in a sentence.
You gain a +2 to parry and strike with a sword in your left hand but I know something you do not... you are not left handed, you may reroll initiative with a +4 when switching to your right hand AND have a +4 to strike and parry with a sword in your right hand.
You have an immunity to iocane powder... whatever that is.
Finally when attempting to dodge fire based traps you have an additional +3 to dodge
Gee I'm not shure if this Red Ray thing is good or bad... Thath Iconthevable!
33: A mobile city made of stone on wheels... They built this city out of rock... and it rolls!
It a very small city... some would say its a model.
34: 3d100+4d6 lost people.
Did I mention these people are very small people?? Other than that, they're just ordinary John/Jane Does.
One could also say, that they could live in a very small town. Some would say that town is a model.
35: A box of tampons
36: A box of 260 crayons all of them are colors you think you've seen before but must be in a different language or something because what the heck is salmon and mauve?
37: An assorted box of "toys"... you don't think they've been used, it still looks sealed.
38: A LOLCATs Poster
39: Randy Newman sitting under an Apple Tree in front of a piano singing about whatever he sees (the PC's)
40: A broken Vacuum Cleaner (powers up but no suction). Anyone with mechanical skills must save vs. Insanity or be obsessed with trying to fix it. No matter what they do they cannot fix it. If the character is not pulled away after 1 hour of working on it, he will be totally obsessed with it and bring it with him. Only destroying the vacuum cleaner with a large hammer will break the curse.
41: 400# because editing them is easy... just annoying Of course that could be read as 400 lbs. of what I don't know… but it can't be good
42: The Ring of Conventions as long as anyone in the group wears the ring all rolls for the same cause (i.e. initiative, to hit, the same skill) their rolls are averaged and everyone receives the same roll.
43: You run into a older man he is kneeling down in front of a smashed house if anyone asks him a question he verbally assaults them with a tirade of sarcastic remarks. You are unable to understand what he is trying to convey. He finally give you the forehead palm you've been digging for and points behind you. There is a stampede of 1d6 Fury Beatles bearing down on you. Roll Initiative -5
44: A lucky infinity ball it is black with a white circle on one side with the infinity symbol... you know a sideways 8 and a clear window on the other with a blue liquid inside. Just before you turned it over you asked yourself "what is this an infinity ball" and then when you turned it over as if out of no where comes this pollyhedron up through the blue liquid to reveal... "Yes, Definately."
45: You find a naked Shemarian warrior... you thought they'd be sexy. But without all that skin they kind of look like the Terminator.
46: A loose pile of flesh. When held up (yuck!), it's in the shape of a very shapely female form... just hollow!
47: A bottle of Elderberry wine.
48: A suit of Mega Damage armor with the liquefied remains of its owner inside
49: A data base of all the possible encounters on Rifts organized by geographical and political area. When used the encounter happens within 1d20 minutes. Does it tell the future or cause the event?
50: A cargo container with all brand new parts to build an suit of power armor. The instructions are in really bad Engrish. Some assembly required.
51: The instructions to number 50 in Japanese, Russian, Chinese, Egyptian Hyroglyphics and any other language that uses non-roman symbols oh and... Antarctican (huh????) which also notes something about shoggoths, elder things and Y'Pawfrm e'din Leng but otherwise seems to actively avoid understanding.
Attempting to understand the Antarctican has a 4% + IQ bonus chance of translation and a 100% chance to cause insanity if translated
52: A stripped APC up on blocks...this must be the bad part of town.
53: An unopenned box of Twinkies (still fresh! they really do keep forever)
54: A "Buy 1 Get 1 Free" coupon for Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane! Fine print says it's redeemable at the Chi-Town store location ONLY and expires in 3 months!
55: What appears to be a Laser rifle cobbled together from the parts of at least a dozen different types and brands of laser rifles! And it works too! Fully charged E-clip with 50 shots, 3 damage settings for 4d6 SDC (1/2 charge), 5d6 MD (1 charge), and 1d6x10 MD (2 charges), and can be set for single shot, 3-shot pulse, or Full Auto. Cumulative 1% chance per attack that it just falls apart in the shooter's hands, leaving him with a pile of mismatched laser rifle parts and a partially charged E-clip.
56: A Rifts Ultimate Edition Hardcover 5th printing. It's a book that appears to be a game, but who would want to play such a mundane boring game... Specially with all the typos!
57: A weird looking weapon, consisting of a barrel and stock that look very jury rigged. The stock is a small oxygen cylinder and the clip is a cylinder with a strip removed down the side. The weapon has an optical site and just off to one side of the site is a pressure gauge. Clipped to one side of the weapon is what looks to be a bike pump, that's connected to a nipple on the oxygen cylinder.
The ammo for said weapon is 15mm ball bearings. In order to fire the weapon, you have to pressure up the oxygen cylinder. This will take 1d4 actions. When fully primed, it will retain pressure for 50 shots. However, if left alone for any length of time the air will leak out of the cylinder (poorly put together). On the other hand you an over pressurize the cylinder. This will take an additional 1d4 actions.
Accuracy is +1, range is 2500 feet!! Damage is 4d6 sdc, if over pressurized damage becomes 2d6 mdc!! The clip will hold 30 ball bearings. The weapon has a 5% chance of blowing a valve and not working until repaired for each time it's over pressurized. Due to the nature of the weapon, it's not automatic.
58: A box of d100 x 1d100 15mm ball bearings.
59: A small pin that radiates magic whenever the pin is brought near someone with a huge ego they are launched through the air and flap around like a loose baloon. They safely come to rest 50% of the time in an akward location like half their body hanging off the top shelf or under some furniture. But when they get up they are apologetic for the trouble they caused and seem to exhibit humility...
60: An unopened package of Vampire Teeth.
61: An unopened package of "Redneck" Teeth.
62: A full set of somebody's Dentures.
63: A DVD of the Movie "Blazing Saddles"
64: A childs Teddy Bear, that when squeezed in the belly, says "Momma"
65: A Plush Green...thing, with Large Yellow eyes and Tentacles for a mouth. It's mildly...disturbing (H.F. of 4).
66: A Plush Purple Dinosaur, that when squeezed at the belly, sings "I Love You...." Disturbing (H.F. of 8 )
67: A Stop Sign.
68: A large, tattered piece of parchment. Written on it, in flowing script, "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." (The text continues...as the U.S. Constitution)
69: A well preserved and sealed collection of Comic Books...the entire collection (GM - determine which ones. Could be every Superman, Batman, Hulk, Spiderman, Star Trek, Star Wars, etc. ever made...)
70: A "Magic Trick" kit. (Be the first on your block to be able to cut your Sister in half!)
71: Box of papers containing somebody's tax records.
72: Box of papers containing family photo's (Both 2D and 3D)
73: A set of dishes (50/50 chance they are unbroken).
74: A wooden box containing a set of family silverware.
75: A box of sports trophies and medals.
76: Cook Books (Choose theme: Chinese, Steaks, Ribs, Vegan, Italian, Mexican, etc).
77: Box of Wires (Speaker, power wires, etc.) but not the devices they go to.
78: Box of Devices (DVD Player, VCR, 8-Track, Cassette, etc), but not the wires (or remotes) that go to them.
79: A 3-ring binder with Instruction booklets for various Devices (DVD Player, VCR, 8-Track, Cassette, etc).
80: A box of kids stuffed animals. No batteries required.
81: A book, titled "Military Installations for the Retiree" dated 2097. A map shows where the Installations are located in the United States and provides a short description of the Base (For a "visitor" - no classified) and contact Numbers.
82: Box of board games.
83: Box of Role Playing Games.
84: A stroller.
85: A high chair.
86: A cat carrier...fur still inside, but no cat to be seen.
87: A small plastic box of keys and key rings. No identifiable purpose.
88: A box of arts & crafts supplies.
89: A House Cleaning Robot. Still in working condition, just needs to be recharged (Runs on Batteries...NOT Nuclear powered).
90: An uncashed check, dated 21 Dec 2098.
91: A Driver's Licence. (GM determine who. Male/Female, Race, Age, Organ Donal, Address, etc).
92: Bottle of Finely Aged "Ripple" (Poison Save vs 13. Vomit if failed. Ill for 2-days).
93: Bottle of Finely Aged Scotch
94: Bottle of Finely Aged Jack Daniels (Black Label)
95: Bottle of Finely Aged Capn' Morgan
96: Bottle of Finely Aged Johnnie Walker
97: Bottle of Finely Aged Jagermeister (Poison Save vs 10. Vomit if failed. Sick for rest of the day).
98: Bottle of Finely Aged Jim Beam
99: Bottle of Finely Aged Sake
100: Bottle of Finely Aged Red Wine (No Label. 25% chance that it has turned rancid. If rancid then Poison Save vs 12. Vomit if failed. Sick for 1-2 days).