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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 11:38 am
  

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Hero

Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 1108
Location: Texas... what country are you from?
Comment: Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.
That's why it is called "the present".
Gryphon Chick wrote:
The lady centaur returns to the shop the next day to pick up her tents. Accompanying her is a rather scraggly looking Puck.
"You better behave yourself in here," the centaur warns, "otherwise I will drag you out of the shop myself."

The old man smiles brightly with a friendly wave as she enters, sauntering over and giving her a friendly pat on the flank. "Charonis, glad to see you again, welcome! I trust you are here for your tents." Rapping the end of his walking stick sharply against the floor a few times, he offers her a Mai Tai as Squeeb the spindly looking Goblin groans and shuffles his way out from the back room bearing a smallish pack on his back that looks to weigh all of 20 lbs. As he reaches the centaur's side, he gives a high pitched grunt as he heaves the pack up onto her back before collapsing in utter exhaustion, panting like an overworked sled dog. "You'll find the tents and shoes wrapped up in there. If you like I can have the shoes applied right now, though any blacksmith is capable." He sweeps a discerning eye to the scraggly looking Puck with a wry grin. "And, if I may be so bold, might I inquire who your date is?"

_________________
Sure, lions and tigers are stronger...
But I've never seen a wolf jump through hoops in a circus


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 11:46 am
  

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Hero

Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 1108
Location: Texas... what country are you from?
Comment: Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.
That's why it is called "the present".
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Is anyone in contact with Julius? I hope nothing terrible has happened to him/her that would keep him from obsessively prowling the forums like the rest of us.

Apologies to you and all of my adoring fans and loyal customers. Life has been rough for dear old Uncle remus as of late by laying him out with a nasty flu that came with a bonus sinus infection. For the past couple weeks it has felt like there is a little kid in my head over-inflating a balloon in my sinuses. I have recovered from the flu finally, but the sinus infection remains in full force, though I am winning that little fight too. Rest assured nothing too terrible has happened to me. I'm just rolling along a bit slower than I usually do. I greatly appreciate your patience and hope I have responded adequately to your posts :D

Good luck and great gaming!

_________________
Sure, lions and tigers are stronger...
But I've never seen a wolf jump through hoops in a circus


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 3:36 pm
  

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Virtuoso of Variants

Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 2:18 pm
Posts: 6905
Location: Lurking on rooftops like a proper gargoyle should, in and around Lakewood, WA.
Comment: "Your inferiority complex might be justified."
JuliusCreed wrote:
Stone Gargoyle wrote:
The family follows Bubbles behind the curtain even as Rezzidoo and the architect leave the shop. The squire who was acting as messenger for the elven wizard remains in the main room, looking around the shop, as he has not been dismissed and is rather intrigued by all the wondrous items..

Remus gives a short bow and a warm smile to each as they pass by, glancing to the curious squire with a devilish grin and a twinkle in his bespectacled eye. "And you, young man... is there anything you see that piques your interest?"
"I shall be knighted soon and will be entrusted to the security of the castle, so I did wish to inquire about a suit of the Dragon Plate armor with fire for the breath weapon. Torc does so love his Beast Leather, and he told me of the Dragon Plate," the squire explains. "I am sure my Lord the Wizard will not mind it being added to the already large amount of stuff he is purchasing from you. I would also like to inquire as to what interesting sorts of swords you might have, maybe something less than usual and suited to the dragon theme of the castle."

_________________
"SG, you are a limitless fountain of Butt-Saving Advice. You Rock, Stone and Concrete." ~ TrumbachD
http://wiki.thedeificnmi.com/index.php?title=Main_Page


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 7:09 pm
  

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Adventurer

Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2009 9:01 pm
Posts: 607
Location: "France...We come from France."
Comment: "Incredible Cosmic Power! ...teeny tiny living space."
JuliusCreed wrote:
The old man smiles brightly with a friendly wave as she enters, sauntering over and giving her a friendly pat on the flank. "Charonis, glad to see you again, welcome! I trust you are here for your tents." Rapping the end of his walking stick sharply against the floor a few times, he offers her a Mai Tai as Squeeb the spindly looking Goblin groans and shuffles his way out from the back room bearing a smallish pack on his back that looks to weigh all of 20 lbs. As he reaches the centaur's side, he gives a high pitched grunt as he heaves the pack up onto her back before collapsing in utter exhaustion, panting like an overworked sled dog. "You'll find the tents and shoes wrapped up in there. If you like I can have the shoes applied right now, though any blacksmith is capable." He sweeps a discerning eye to the scraggly looking Puck with a wry grin. "And, if I may be so bold, might I inquire who your date is?"
"The shoes I have on will suffice for now. I can change out my shoes later myself if need be, or get one of the men to do it. No need trouble yourself now." Charonis takes the mai tai and downs it before gesturing to the Puck. "This here is Treestump. Treat him fairly... He's grumpy in general but okay otherwise."
The puck snorts defensively. "Thought I'd take a gander and yer goods myself as the 'horse' seems to think you might have stuff what I might be able to use. What have ye in the way of crossbows that can fire unusual bolts, you know, tar and the like?"

_________________
"Sorry, I'm busy tonight...Same thing I do every night...Trying the take over the world..."


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Unread postPosted: Wed Mar 06, 2013 2:01 am
  

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Champion

Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Posts: 1792
Location: West Central region of Indiana
JuliusCreed wrote:
The old man listens to the tiger man's story with an odd mix of curiosity and amusement flashing through his eyes every so often, particularly at the part about finding his shop here. With an understanding nod he waves his hand, his old rocking chair sliding up behind him as the fireplace roars to life, settling into his chair with a steaming cup of tea as a comfortable looking armchair bounds up behind Smokey Joe, gesturing for him to have a seat. "When it comes to jobs I can offer, yes, I have a few things I can think of that can be done... nothing too terribly taxing or illegal... well, maybe fracturing the occasional law will be necessary, but not very often and I'm sure you could handle it. I have to warn you though... you will likely have to deal with a good deal of weird if you work for me. I know you'd like to avoid that kind of thing, but let's face it... you're coming to a place called 'The Emporium of the Arcane', referred by a cranky old Jew that runs a second rate voodoo shop in Queens and... " he gives a slight wave of his hand causing a dim flash of light to reveal the pair of faeries at the Smokey Joe's feet apparently trying to tie his shoelaces together. With a startled squeal they vanish in a puff of glittery purple smoke as the old man continues. "Well let's just say that one man's weird is another man's mundane. One thing that does interest me, though, is what you may have left in that bag of yours. You said the HooDoo Jew was able to take the weird stuff off your hands, but I'd like to see what else you have, particularly if Freddy the Fence wasn't interested. Of course I'll give you a good price for anything that sparks my interest as well and we'll still be able to discuss the possibility of a job."


Joe looks suspiciously at the walking furniture, but takes the offered seat with a nod of thanks and sinks back into the chair with a rumbling sigh. “You make a good point Mr. Remus. I left an odd place, traveled a strange route, only to wind up smack in the middle of weird. No offense to you or shop here. Much as I might hate to admit it, it seems my normal days may be a thing of the past.”
At the wave of Uncle Remus’ hand, Joe notices a flash of light and movement near his feet. He looks down in time to notice a couple of …faeries (?!) squeal and vanish in a puff of glittery purple smoke. “Holy jeez, what in the hell is going on here” he exclaims!? Joe startled as much by the faeries as by the sudden appearance of shoes on his hind paws, quickly pulls the shoes off and sets them aside. “See what I mean about things not being normal anymore? Here I am, not up to nothing, and weird stuff happens to me all on its own. Used to be the weirdest thing I ever dealt with was finding unexpected stuff in the trash or at the dump. It's damn unsettling.

So you’re interested in what I’ve got left in the bag? It’s not much, but I’ll show it to you. Sell it or trade it, I don’t really have any use for the stuff.”
Reaching into his bag, Joe begins to pull things out of it making piles on the floor near his chair. Out comes a tattered Salvation Army blanket, a chipped and dented Salvation Army donation bucket and bell. A large metal flashlight with the words Mag-Lite etched into the side and a battered, black fiberglass baseball bat. Lastly he adds a pair of brown cotton Jersey gloves and a stoppered clay jug with XXX painted on the side. “This stuff I’m holding on to.”

In a separate pile Joe lays out the following items:
Four old glass Coca-Cola bottles (pre-1970).
1 razor sharp machete. “I took this off of that guy what knocked me down. He was gonna use it to hack up this girl he had tied to the bed. Figured it would be a good idea not to let him do that. Might be some blood on it. I didn't bother to ask. He kept hollering about virgins and The Great Dismemberer”
3 gold rings. “Found these under a floor board in the same house where that girl was gonna be sacrificed. Bunch of skulls and bones were down there too, but I didn’t mess with them”
A full silverware setting for 5 made of real, but heavily tarnished, silver.
1 huge, (4’x3’) creepy looking painting of a bear in the forest under a full moon. “I got this painting when trying to sell some stuff earlier. It was right after I got bit. Something about it, I just couldn’t resist”
1 handmade necklace. It is made with a leather thong, polished stone beads, and 1 enormous (3x normal size) bear claw that glows slightly. “Got this necklace from the same guy who sold me the painting. I couldn't tell you why, but at the time I had to have it.”
1 silver chain necklace with a large silver D6 pendant. “This was all that was left of that biker guy whose head peeled back and his skull caught fire”

“This is what I have for sale or trade. Like I said, none of it is doing me any good. Takes up space in my bag. If you don’t want any of it, no hard feelings. You never did mention how you might be able to help me keep the lights and water on and the fridge stocked up. That old cranky Jew let on like you'd have or know a way of keeping it from being a recurring problem. To be honest he wasn't really clear. He said, follow the directions I gave you, Uncle Remus is who you need to see. It's 4AM, get your hairy tiger ass out of my shop!”

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


Last edited by The Oh So Amazing Nate on Wed Mar 06, 2013 11:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Unread postPosted: Wed Mar 06, 2013 2:49 am
  

User avatar
Champion

Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Posts: 1792
Location: West Central region of Indiana
In case anyone was interested. Smokey Joe Gargle looks like

http://www.deviantart.com/download/3378 ... 5l4v0f.jpg
+
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkmol ... 1_1280.jpg

What Smokey Joe Gargle sounds like.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXnEeNglN5g
+
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD2CszHD1fU

Like Clint Eastwood with a throat full of phlegm. haha

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 2:14 pm
  

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Virtuoso of Variants

Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 2:18 pm
Posts: 6905
Location: Lurking on rooftops like a proper gargoyle should, in and around Lakewood, WA.
Comment: "Your inferiority complex might be justified."
I find it frustrating that JuliusCreed has been on the forums since my last response was posted and has not responded to it. If such neglect of this thread continues, I might have to stop posting here.

_________________
"SG, you are a limitless fountain of Butt-Saving Advice. You Rock, Stone and Concrete." ~ TrumbachD
http://wiki.thedeificnmi.com/index.php?title=Main_Page


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Unread postPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 11:02 pm
  

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Champion

Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Posts: 1792
Location: West Central region of Indiana
Stone Gargoyle wrote:
I find it frustrating that JuliusCreed has been on the forums since my last response was posted and has not responded to it. If such neglect of this thread continues, I might have to stop posting here.


Eeeaaaaasssssy big fella. we can't know for sure what kind of IRL problems he might be having. To be fair, we're pretty demanding of him when it comes to that particular thread. The way things have been going, each reply is can be considered a pretty huge undertaking.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 2:19 pm
  

User avatar
Virtuoso of Variants

Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 2:18 pm
Posts: 6905
Location: Lurking on rooftops like a proper gargoyle should, in and around Lakewood, WA.
Comment: "Your inferiority complex might be justified."
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Stone Gargoyle wrote:
I find it frustrating that JuliusCreed has been on the forums since my last response was posted and has not responded to it. If such neglect of this thread continues, I might have to stop posting here.


Eeeaaaaasssssy big fella. we can't know for sure what kind of IRL problems he might be having. To be fair, we're pretty demanding of him when it comes to that particular thread. The way things have been going, each reply is can be considered a pretty huge undertaking.
The fact that he has been on the forums but not responded to this thread in like two weeks is disconcerting. I am not complaining as if I expect him to respond the next day or even a few days, I am complaining because as of now it has been two weeks since he has made an appearance in this thread even though he has been in the forums, I checked his profile.

_________________
"SG, you are a limitless fountain of Butt-Saving Advice. You Rock, Stone and Concrete." ~ TrumbachD
http://wiki.thedeificnmi.com/index.php?title=Main_Page


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 4:20 pm
  

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Champion

Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Posts: 1792
Location: West Central region of Indiana
I understand, but what's he been posting? I like cheese is a much easier post than a treatise on the enjoyability of cheeses based on the animal that supplied the milk.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 5:04 pm
  

User avatar
Virtuoso of Variants

Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 2:18 pm
Posts: 6905
Location: Lurking on rooftops like a proper gargoyle should, in and around Lakewood, WA.
Comment: "Your inferiority complex might be justified."
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
I understand, but what's he been posting? I like cheese is a much easier post than a treatise on the enjoyability of cheeses based on the animal that supplied the milk.
You have a point, and I do like cheese...

_________________
"SG, you are a limitless fountain of Butt-Saving Advice. You Rock, Stone and Concrete." ~ TrumbachD
http://wiki.thedeificnmi.com/index.php?title=Main_Page


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Unread postPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 10:01 pm
  

User avatar
Hero

Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 1108
Location: Texas... what country are you from?
Comment: Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.
That's why it is called "the present".
Stone Gargoyle wrote:
JuliusCreed wrote:
Stone Gargoyle wrote:
The family follows Bubbles behind the curtain even as Rezzidoo and the architect leave the shop. The squire who was acting as messenger for the elven wizard remains in the main room, looking around the shop, as he has not been dismissed and is rather intrigued by all the wondrous items..

Remus gives a short bow and a warm smile to each as they pass by, glancing to the curious squire with a devilish grin and a twinkle in his bespectacled eye. "And you, young man... is there anything you see that piques your interest?"
"I shall be knighted soon and will be entrusted to the security of the castle, so I did wish to inquire about a suit of the Dragon Plate armor with fire for the breath weapon. Torc does so love his Beast Leather, and he told me of the Dragon Plate," the squire explains. "I am sure my Lord the Wizard will not mind it being added to the already large amount of stuff he is purchasing from you. I would also like to inquire as to what interesting sorts of swords you might have, maybe something less than usual and suited to the dragon theme of the castle."


The old man listens carefully and gives a slow nod, taking a sip from his tea cup and setting it to the side as he rises from his creaky old rocking chair. "Yes I can arrange a suit of Dragon Plate for you easily enough... Fire Breath will take a day to get set up though. I tend to keep those additional options off until they're actually ordered. As for a sword.... Well, I have quite an assortment of various types scattered about here. I understand you'd like something 'interesting'... but what sparks my curiosity is what exactly it is you might find interesting. Any ideas as to what you may be looking for, or shall I see what I can, or already have, whipped up for you?"

_________________
Sure, lions and tigers are stronger...
But I've never seen a wolf jump through hoops in a circus


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Unread postPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:12 pm
  

User avatar
Hero

Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 1108
Location: Texas... what country are you from?
Comment: Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.
That's why it is called "the present".
Gryphon Chick wrote:
JuliusCreed wrote:
The old man smiles brightly with a friendly wave as she enters, sauntering over and giving her a friendly pat on the flank. "Charonis, glad to see you again, welcome! I trust you are here for your tents." Rapping the end of his walking stick sharply against the floor a few times, he offers her a Mai Tai as Squeeb the spindly looking Goblin groans and shuffles his way out from the back room bearing a smallish pack on his back that looks to weigh all of 20 lbs. As he reaches the centaur's side, he gives a high pitched grunt as he heaves the pack up onto her back before collapsing in utter exhaustion, panting like an overworked sled dog. "You'll find the tents and shoes wrapped up in there. If you like I can have the shoes applied right now, though any blacksmith is capable." He sweeps a discerning eye to the scraggly looking Puck with a wry grin. "And, if I may be so bold, might I inquire who your date is?"
"The shoes I have on will suffice for now. I can change out my shoes later myself if need be, or get one of the men to do it. No need trouble yourself now." Charonis takes the mai tai and downs it before gesturing to the Puck. "This here is Treestump. Treat him fairly... He's grumpy in general but okay otherwise."
The puck snorts defensively. "Thought I'd take a gander and yer goods myself as the 'horse' seems to think you might have stuff what I might be able to use. What have ye in the way of crossbows that can fire unusual bolts, you know, tar and the like?"

With a warm smile he turns to the Puck and gives a considering nod at his request. "Crossbows that fire unusual bolts... well, right off the top of my head there's my Angler's Crossbow you'll find in aisle (page) 1. Or I have....

Screamer: An interesting enchantment that can be applied to bows, crossbows and slings. When activated, missiles fired from the weapon emit a horrible screech as it flies through the air toward its target. The target must make a saving throw vs Magic of 14 or better or be frozen in terror as the arrow/bolt/stone streaks toward him or her to strike for double damage. Missiles fired from the weapon while this enchantment is activated are +3 to strike for the purpose of determining whether or not the strike beats the target's AR, otherwise targets are struck automatically unless the save is successful, in which case victims may dodge the shot as usual. The enchantment remains active for only one melee round when activated, but may be activated up to 5 times per 24 hour period. As a side application, the screech of the missiles fired can be heard for up to 1000 yards, making for an excellent signal device or a handy distraction, as well. Cost: 20,000 gold

Trap Shot: Applied to bows and crossbows only, this deceptively simple enchantment makes shots fired from it cast a limited form of Carpet of Adhesion over a small surface area of the target it strikes. If fired at the ground, the CoA will affect a roughly 2 foot radius around the point the arrow or bolt strikes for a duration of 10 melee rounds. Firing an arrow or bolt at the feet of an attacker, while a sound idea, is more difficult than one might imagine however, especially considering the extremely mobile nature of hand to hand combat. Striking a patch of ground at a target's feet in order to adhere them to the CoA area requires a Called Shot of 15 or better. Targets are allowed to Dodge, however they do so at a -3 due to the fact that the arrow isn't even aimed at them in the first place. Plus if the Dodge is successful, there is actually a 30% chance the target will be struck by the arrow rather than the ground at his or her feet. (normal damage) This enchantment may be activated up to 5 times per 24 hour period and affects only 1 arrow per activation. Cost: 10,000 gold

_________________
Sure, lions and tigers are stronger...
But I've never seen a wolf jump through hoops in a circus


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Unread postPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:26 pm
  

User avatar
Hero

Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 1108
Location: Texas... what country are you from?
Comment: Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.
That's why it is called "the present".
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Joe looks suspiciously at the walking furniture, but takes the offered seat with a nod of thanks and sinks back into the chair with a rumbling sigh. “You make a good point Mr. Remus. I left an odd place, traveled a strange route, only to wind up smack in the middle of weird. No offense to you or shop here. Much as I might hate to admit it, it seems my normal days may be a thing of the past.”
At the wave of Uncle Remus’ hand, Joe notices a flash of light and movement near his feet. He looks down in time to notice a couple of …faeries (?!) squeal and vanish in a puff of glittery purple smoke. “Holy jeez, what in the hell is going on here” he exclaims!? Joe startled as much by the faeries as by the sudden appearance of shoes on his hind paws, quickly pulls the shoes off and sets them aside. “See what I mean about things not being normal anymore? Here I am, not up to nothing, and weird stuff happens to me all on its own. Used to be the weirdest thing I ever dealt with was finding unexpected stuff in the trash or at the dump. It's damn unsettling.

So you’re interested in what I’ve got left in the bag? It’s not much, but I’ll show it to you. Sell it or trade it, I don’t really have any use for the stuff.”
Reaching into his bag, Joe begins to pull things out of it making piles on the floor near his chair. Out comes a tattered Salvation Army blanket, a chipped and dented Salvation Army donation bucket and bell. A large metal flashlight with the words Mag-Lite etched into the side and a battered, black fiberglass baseball bat. Lastly he adds a pair of brown cotton Jersey gloves and a stoppered clay jug with XXX painted on the side. “This stuff I’m holding on to.”

In a separate pile Joe lays out the following items:
Four old glass Coca-Cola bottles (pre-1970).
1 razor sharp machete. “I took this off of that guy what knocked me down. He was gonna use it to hack up this girl he had tied to the bed. Figured it would be a good idea not to let him do that. Might be some blood on it. I didn't bother to ask. He kept hollering about virgins and The Great Dismemberer”
3 gold rings. “Found these under a floor board in the same house where that girl was gonna be sacrificed. Bunch of skulls and bones were down there too, but I didn’t mess with them”
A full silverware setting for 5 made of real, but heavily tarnished, silver.
1 huge, (4’x3’) creepy looking painting of a bear in the forest under a full moon. “I got this painting when trying to sell some stuff earlier. It was right after I got bit. Something about it, I just couldn’t resist”
1 handmade necklace. It is made with a leather thong, polished stone beads, and 1 enormous (3x normal size) bear claw that glows slightly. “Got this necklace from the same guy who sold me the painting. I couldn't tell you why, but at the time I had to have it.”
1 silver chain necklace with a large silver D6 pendant. “This was all that was left of that biker guy whose head peeled back and his skull caught fire”

“This is what I have for sale or trade. Like I said, none of it is doing me any good. Takes up space in my bag. If you don’t want any of it, no hard feelings. You never did mention how you might be able to help me keep the lights and water on and the fridge stocked up. That old cranky Jew let on like you'd have or know a way of keeping it from being a recurring problem. To be honest he wasn't really clear. He said, follow the directions I gave you, Uncle Remus is who you need to see. It's 4AM, get your hairy tiger ass out of my shop!”


The old man looks through the pile, nudging here and there at a few things with his walking stick as he browses, shuffling a few things to the side with a quiet muttering every so often. After a short while, he's separated the items into two different piles, the Coke bottles, gold rings and silverware in one, the machete, painting and 2 necklaces in the other. "I'll be happy to buy this pile right here from you..." He taps his stick on the floor next to the bottles, rings and silverware. "... the rest of this stuff... let's just say I highly recommend you hang on to those. They may come in handy in the near future, particularly the bear claw necklace. That's some good ju-ju there... magic near as ancient as time itself. The machete... well, no offense to the bat you have, but a machete tends to be a more effective weapon and tool and this one is particularly special. That painting... I'm not sure what I can tell you about it, but you're right... there is just something about it. And that other necklace with the die for a pendant... wear that and I have a feeling your luck will take a significant turn for the better..." He smiles softly, leaning back in his chair, sweeping his stick in a quick arc across the floor and sending something skittering away with a flurry of giggles. "As for how much I'll pay you for the rest of that... how does say.... 1000 bucks sound?"

_________________
Sure, lions and tigers are stronger...
But I've never seen a wolf jump through hoops in a circus


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Unread postPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:38 pm
  

User avatar
Hero

Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 1108
Location: Texas... what country are you from?
Comment: Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.
That's why it is called "the present".
Wow.... I certainly have been away for some time, haven't I? Life certainly has been hectic for me these past few weeks... tax time rolls through and the extra financial influx takes up my attention more than :twisted: **CENSORED DUE TO EXTREMELY ADULT CONTENT** :twisted: . In the end though, I can only convey my sincerest apologies to those of you that have frequented my shop as often as you have, and sincerely and profusely thank you all for your patience and understanding in the delays of my posts. For those that have noticed me coming on and not posting here, (you know who you are :wink: ) I can only say, I'm sorry, but my mobile is a monster to type on and the shop does require some pretty lengthy posts... I'd hate to see anyone's thumbs after trying to text in something of that size. :lol: Anyway, now that things on my end have settled in some, I am able to dedicate a bit more time to my duties here. However, I must warn you, my loyal patrons, that another part of my absences is due to my starting to actually follow the advice of many of you and my wife and start actually getting this stuff in my head put onto hard copy and sending it in for publishing. No promises on that, but keep your eyes open folks... Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane may one day see itself on the pages of a Rifter should the Palladium gods see fit to allow it.

Again, my apologies for the lengthy delays and my thanks for your continued patience and patronage. Without people like you, I could never be what I am now.

Good luck and great gaming!!

_________________
Sure, lions and tigers are stronger...
But I've never seen a wolf jump through hoops in a circus


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Unread postPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 12:14 am
  

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Glad to see things are sorting out well for you sir and that you've not been the victim of some illness or horrible catastrophe.

Joe will reply soon and have some very very strange goodies for your consideration.

Nate.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 12:16 am
  

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A new theory as to the location of Uncle Remus's Emporium. Could it be in the Astral plane? Cause while Joe was waiting for Uncle Remus to decide on his items for purchase, Joe was also out getting into more weird situations. Sounds like a fragmented soul type deal to me. Part of me was there, part of me was elsewhere all at the same time.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 4:25 am
  

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Location: West Central region of Indiana
All items; past, present, and most likely future, come from the following thread viewtopic.php?f=10&t=39719 {1st post and 7th post}. Mundane items, those without an interesting back story/description, are just normal things. Or so I think because the GM or Remus hasn't told me differently.

I'll finish this up soon. Got distracted by my job.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 2:53 pm
  

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Location: Lurking on rooftops like a proper gargoyle should, in and around Lakewood, WA.
Comment: "Your inferiority complex might be justified."
JuliusCreed wrote:
The old man listens carefully and gives a slow nod, taking a sip from his tea cup and setting it to the side as he rises from his creaky old rocking chair. "Yes I can arrange a suit of Dragon Plate for you easily enough... Fire Breath will take a day to get set up though. I tend to keep those additional options off until they're actually ordered. As for a sword.... Well, I have quite an assortment of various types scattered about here. I understand you'd like something 'interesting'... but what sparks my curiosity is what exactly it is you might find interesting. Any ideas as to what you may be looking for, or shall I see what I can, or already have, whipped up for you?"
Getting a somewhat wicked gleam in his eye, the messenger/squire responds. "I am actually thinking of something that is capable of transforming into a dragon-like or snakelike form and reaching out to strike like a viper, allowing me to stand with the sword and allowing it to attack/strike on its own, similar to a snake or dragon head. Such a thing would have to be able to strike on its own or be directed by me with a bonus to strike, and the bite damage would be the normal blade damage plus a damage bonus when striking on its own, and I should like it to have a damage bonus when wielded as a sword also. Would such a weapon be possible?"

_________________
"SG, you are a limitless fountain of Butt-Saving Advice. You Rock, Stone and Concrete." ~ TrumbachD
http://wiki.thedeificnmi.com/index.php?title=Main_Page


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:32 pm
  

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Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2009 9:01 pm
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Location: "France...We come from France."
Comment: "Incredible Cosmic Power! ...teeny tiny living space."
JuliusCreed wrote:
Gryphon Chick wrote:
The puck snorts defensively. "Thought I'd take a gander and yer goods myself as the 'horse' seems to think you might have stuff what I might be able to use. What have ye in the way of crossbows that can fire unusual bolts, you know, tar and the like?"

With a warm smile he turns to the Puck and gives a considering nod at his request. "Crossbows that fire unusual bolts... well, right off the top of my head there's my Angler's Crossbow you'll find in aisle (page) 1. Or I have....

Screamer: An interesting enchantment that can be applied to bows, crossbows and slings. When activated, missiles fired from the weapon emit a horrible screech as it flies through the air toward its target. The target must make a saving throw vs Magic of 14 or better or be frozen in terror as the arrow/bolt/stone streaks toward him or her to strike for double damage. Missiles fired from the weapon while this enchantment is activated are +3 to strike for the purpose of determining whether or not the strike beats the target's AR, otherwise targets are struck automatically unless the save is successful, in which case victims may dodge the shot as usual. The enchantment remains active for only one melee round when activated, but may be activated up to 5 times per 24 hour period. As a side application, the screech of the missiles fired can be heard for up to 1000 yards, making for an excellent signal device or a handy distraction, as well. Cost: 20,000 gold

Trap Shot: Applied to bows and crossbows only, this deceptively simple enchantment makes shots fired from it cast a limited form of Carpet of Adhesion over a small surface area of the target it strikes. If fired at the ground, the CoA will affect a roughly 2 foot radius around the point the arrow or bolt strikes for a duration of 10 melee rounds. Firing an arrow or bolt at the feet of an attacker, while a sound idea, is more difficult than one might imagine however, especially considering the extremely mobile nature of hand to hand combat. Striking a patch of ground at a target's feet in order to adhere them to the CoA area requires a Called Shot of 15 or better. Targets are allowed to Dodge, however they do so at a -3 due to the fact that the arrow isn't even aimed at them in the first place. Plus if the Dodge is successful, there is actually a 30% chance the target will be struck by the arrow rather than the ground at his or her feet. (normal damage) This enchantment may be activated up to 5 times per 24 hour period and affects only 1 arrow per activation. Cost: 10,000 gold
"The angler's Crossbow is reel interesting," the puck says, laughing to himself at his own joke. "I will have to consider that one. The tar bolts I had in mind were for more than just snaring or trapping an opponent, though. I was actually thinking of something I could shoot in the opponent's face or eyes to blind them and make it hard to breathe." He considers more. "I will take the Angler's Crossbow, but am still interested in something to shoot someone in the face to blind them or on their weapon to make it less sharp, something that will coat what it hits..." He considers more. "Suppose I'll take that Trap Shot enchantment also. Will the Angler's Crossbow fire regular shots as well as the special line or is it just for that purpose? If it can fire normal shots, I could have the Trap Shot enchantment done to the Angler's Crossbow, no? If not, I'll have the enchantment put on the regular crossbow I carry. I really have no use for the Screamer enchantment, however."

_________________
"Sorry, I'm busy tonight...Same thing I do every night...Trying the take over the world..."


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:39 pm
  

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Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 2:18 pm
Posts: 6905
Location: Lurking on rooftops like a proper gargoyle should, in and around Lakewood, WA.
Comment: "Your inferiority complex might be justified."
JuliusCreed wrote:
Wow.... I certainly have been away for some time, haven't I? Life certainly has been hectic for me these past few weeks... tax time rolls through and the extra financial influx takes up my attention more than :twisted: **CENSORED DUE TO EXTREMELY ADULT CONTENT** :twisted: . In the end though, I can only convey my sincerest apologies to those of you that have frequented my shop as often as you have, and sincerely and profusely thank you all for your patience and understanding in the delays of my posts. For those that have noticed me coming on and not posting here, (you know who you are :wink: ) I can only say, I'm sorry, but my mobile is a monster to type on and the shop does require some pretty lengthy posts... I'd hate to see anyone's thumbs after trying to text in something of that size. :lol: Anyway, now that things on my end have settled in some, I am able to dedicate a bit more time to my duties here. However, I must warn you, my loyal patrons, that another part of my absences is due to my starting to actually follow the advice of many of you and my wife and start actually getting this stuff in my head put onto hard copy and sending it in for publishing. No promises on that, but keep your eyes open folks... Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane may one day see itself on the pages of a Rifter should the Palladium gods see fit to allow it.

Again, my apologies for the lengthy delays and my thanks for your continued patience and patronage. Without people like you, I could never be what I am now.

Good luck and great gaming!!
Good luck with that. Hopefully you have more to show them than what has been on the boards already, though, as I have found it is difficult to sell them on stuff you've already basically given away for free.

_________________
"SG, you are a limitless fountain of Butt-Saving Advice. You Rock, Stone and Concrete." ~ TrumbachD
http://wiki.thedeificnmi.com/index.php?title=Main_Page


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:01 pm
  

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Comment: "Its not the destination that matters, its the journey along the way."
I would buy a copy just to own it and I am a sucker for artwork.

_________________
"Understanding is a three-edged sword."
Kosh from Babylon 5
"You don't understand, so you find excuses."
Doctor Who
"Peace has made you weak. Victory has defeated you."
Bane


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:56 pm
  

Knight

Joined: Fri Jan 03, 2003 2:01 am
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Location: Québec
I love New Magic items,Weapons,and Enhancements.


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Unread postPosted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:41 pm
  

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SittingBull wrote:
I would buy a copy just to own it and I am a sucker for artwork.


Yes..This thing is a thing to do that I also would be doing.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Wed Mar 27, 2013 5:25 am
  

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JuliusCreed wrote:
The old man looks through the pile, nudging here and there at a few things with his walking stick as he browses, shuffling a few things to the side with a quiet muttering every so often. After a short while, he's separated the items into two different piles, the Coke bottles, gold rings and silverware in one, the machete, painting and 2 necklaces in the other. "I'll be happy to buy this pile right here from you..." He taps his stick on the floor next to the bottles, rings and silverware. "... the rest of this stuff... let's just say I highly recommend you hang on to those. They may come in handy in the near future, particularly the bear claw necklace. That's some good ju-ju there... magic near as ancient as time itself. The machete... well, no offense to the bat you have, but a machete tends to be a more effective weapon and tool and this one is particularly special. That painting... I'm not sure what I can tell you about it, but you're right... there is just something about it. And that other necklace with the die for a pendant... wear that and I have a feeling your luck will take a significant turn for the better..." He smiles softly, leaning back in his chair, sweeping his stick in a quick arc across the floor and sending something skittering away with a flurry of giggles. "As for how much I'll pay you for the rest of that... how does say.... 1000 bucks sound?"


Joe watches as Uncle Remus shuffles his things around. Never before has he had all of his belongings laid out for display like this. More often than not, only a couple of carefully selected pieces would ever be shown at once, the rest securely stashed in his duffle bag held close under a strong clawed grip. Maybe it's the comfortable chair and the warm, crackling fire or maybe the hospitality he's been shown, but for the first time since Old Momma Bess died, Joe lets down his guard.

Joe's interest is piqued as Uncle Remus offers to buy the bottles, rings, and silverware. But it is when Uncle Remus gives his reasons for suggesting that Joe hold on to certain items and why, that he sits up and begins to pay close attention once again.

"Good ju-ju almost as ancient as time itself you say? So you're telling me this isn't just some road side trinket from a Wyoming tourist trap that got pawned off," Joe asks giving the bear claw necklace a hard stare? Pointing at the painting Joe vehemently agrees, "Creepy ass thing gives you the heebie jeebies too huh? Makes my whiskers twitchy. If you need to hold on to it to figure out why it's special or exactly why I should keep it, well that's ok by me." Referring to the machete with a nod of his head, Joe asks, "What makes that one 'particularly special'? I'll admit I'm no expert, but it looks the same as any other one I could pick up at the local garden dept." Gingerly picking up the die pendant necklace, Joe gives a long, low whistle (which if you think about it, is a pretty neat trick for a tiger). "I sure could use a 'significant change of luck for the better' as you say, especially with how weird things have been of late."

"A 1000 bucks for the other stuff? Sounds good to me Mr. Remus," says Joe extending his oddly shaped hand/paw to seal the deal. "I'll just pack up the rest of my stuff while you ..well do whatever it is you need to do. Once we're done with the particulars, do you have a side or back door I could leave by? I try not to be too predictable. If folks can't pin down your routine, they're less likely to try and take your stuff when they think you're away."

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 4:09 am
  

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Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Posts: 1792
Location: West Central region of Indiana
Hoping Uncle Remus comes back soon. GM has locked Joe out of play until I finish this transaction and the ones I have wriggling in my bag and strapped down to a flat bed semi trailer outside.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 1:21 pm
  

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Hero

Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 1108
Location: Texas... what country are you from?
Comment: Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.
That's why it is called "the present".
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Joe watches as Uncle Remus shuffles his things around. Never before has he had all of his belongings laid out for display like this. More often than not, only a couple of carefully selected pieces would ever be shown at once, the rest securely stashed in his duffle bag held close under a strong clawed grip. Maybe it's the comfortable chair and the warm, crackling fire or maybe the hospitality he's been shown, but for the first time since Old Momma Bess died, Joe lets down his guard.

Joe's interest is piqued as Uncle Remus offers to buy the bottles, rings, and silverware. But it is when Uncle Remus gives his reasons for suggesting that Joe hold on to certain items and why, that he sits up and begins to pay close attention once again.

"Good ju-ju almost as ancient as time itself you say? So you're telling me this isn't just some road side trinket from a Wyoming tourist trap that got pawned off," Joe asks giving the bear claw necklace a hard stare? Pointing at the painting Joe vehemently agrees, "Creepy ass thing gives you the heebie jeebies too huh? Makes my whiskers twitchy. If you need to hold on to it to figure out why it's special or exactly why I should keep it, well that's ok by me." Referring to the machete with a nod of his head, Joe asks, "What makes that one 'particularly special'? I'll admit I'm no expert, but it looks the same as any other one I could pick up at the local garden dept." Gingerly picking up the die pendant necklace, Joe gives a long, low whistle (which if you think about it, is a pretty neat trick for a tiger). "I sure could use a 'significant change of luck for the better' as you say, especially with how weird things have been of late."

"A 1000 bucks for the other stuff? Sounds good to me Mr. Remus," says Joe extending his oddly shaped hand/paw to seal the deal. "I'll just pack up the rest of my stuff while you ..well do whatever it is you need to do. Once we're done with the particulars, do you have a side or back door I could leave by? I try not to be too predictable. If folks can't pin down your routine, they're less likely to try and take your stuff when they think you're away."

The old man accepts the paw/handshake with a smile and a nod before turning and retrieving a plain white envelope and handing it over, stuffed with $1000 in various bills, nothing larger than a 50 and less than 100 in 1's. Eyeing the more interesting items with a critical gaze, he arches a bushy eyebrow before giving a nod. "I'll tell you right now, the machete, likely to be your most immediate neccessity, carries an enchantment that makes it incredibly sharp... so much so that for one, you'll never have to worry about it going dull no matter what you bang it against... given enough time and effort this thing will chop through steel cables... heck, it could hack through steel bars for that matter. The rest I'll need a little time to figure out specifics, though I recommend you keep the die pendant with you. It feels a lot like a luck booster on there so it's best you keep it, all things considered... the painting and bear claw necklace you can leave here for say... a week... and I can give you all the info I can get on them."

_________________
Sure, lions and tigers are stronger...
But I've never seen a wolf jump through hoops in a circus


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Unread postPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 1:00 am
  

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Champion

Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Posts: 1792
Location: West Central region of Indiana
JuliusCreed wrote:
The old man accepts the paw/handshake with a smile and a nod before turning and retrieving a plain white envelope and handing it over, stuffed with $1000 in various bills, nothing larger than a 50 and less than 100 in 1's. Eyeing the more interesting items with a critical gaze, he arches a bushy eyebrow before giving a nod. "I'll tell you right now, the machete, likely to be your most immediate neccessity, carries an enchantment that makes it incredibly sharp... so much so that for one, you'll never have to worry about it going dull no matter what you bang it against... given enough time and effort this thing will chop through steel cables... heck, it could hack through steel bars for that matter.

How does that translate in game terms? Impressive + to strike to overcome A.R.? Or maybe an insane damage rating?

Quote:
The rest I'll need a little time to figure out specifics, though I recommend you keep the die pendant with you. It feels a lot like a luck booster on there so it's best you keep it, all things considered

Again, if I may, what does that translate to in game terms, or should I just let the GM decide?

Quote:
... the painting and bear claw necklace you can leave here for say... a week... and I can give you all the info I can get on them."


Accepting the envelope and rasping a gurgled "Thanks", Joe stuffs it down into the deepest recesses of his duffle bag. He then gingerly picks up the machete, making sure to avoid the sharpened edge, wraps it in several layers of rags and places it in the bag. Picking up the necklace; he undoes the clasp, wraps it around his neck and refastens it. The chain is scarcely long enough to make it around his thick neck, becoming more a collar than a necklace with the pendant hanging just above the hollow of his throat and the chain being lost in his fur. As it settles into place, a noticeable shiver runs down his back and sets his tail to swishing. "Heh, this thing kinda tingles," Joe chuckles, "Well I'll be seeing you. I'll be back in about, a week you say?, to check on the other necklace and the painting." Placing the strap to his bag over his head and across his chest, Joe turns to leave when.....

From outside you hear the loud rumble of machinery and a hissing, squonking woosh from the release of compressed air. The front door crashes open as the figure coming in has hit it at a run. It's Joe!?! He comes charging in and barrels into Joe as he is about to leave. The two Joe's fall to the floor in a tangled heap of limbs, layers of clothing, and bulging duffle bags.

The pile of Joe's on the floor rights itself amid a litany of snarls and grumbled swearing. What was two Joes, two duffle bags, and a small mountain of clothing is now one Joe with one bulging, squirming bag wrapped in duct tape and he doesn't look any better for the experience. His eyes are wide open and a bit bloodshot with a look to them that suggests exhaustion and stress. His pants and hind paws muddy and the layers of top clothes are covered in a thick film of dust. You notice that the front of him looks to have been clawed by something huge. His shirts are ripped all the way through and caked with dried blood. Through the torn clothing you can see three large, ragged gashes crossing his chest. The bleeding has stopped, but the wounds are still wet and fresh.

Joe, stares up at Uncle Remus with a look so frazzled you can tell he's right near the edge of a breakdown. His eyes are darting back and forth, his claws are bared fully, and you'd have to be blind not to notice him shaking. What he says next comes out in a frantic rush of words, (missing words are replaced by snarls and growls) "Sonofa.!!! Just happened? stepped on ... own grave." Joe takes a deep shuddering breath. He then jerks his head to focus on the squirming duffle bag on the floor with a hard maniacal stare. Dropping to his knee's he draws back and starts furiously punching the squirming lumps inside, while screaming/roaring at the top of his lungs, "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" After about 3 minutes of fiercely beating it. Whatever is inside the bag stops squirming. Joe drops his head into his hands/paws and starts to softly sob. Clearly pushed to the breaking point, Joe looks up from the floor at Uncle Remus with tears leaking from his eyes and chokes out, "...help..need...tight cage...They won't shut up” Taking the claw on his index finger, Joe cuts a line through the layers of tape to expose the bag's zipper. Unzipping the bag he reaches in and pulls out five human looking hands with various lengths of wrist and forearm attached. They each have a large eyeball in the back of the palm and show varying stages of decay as well as evidence of Joe's beating them. Picking up his bag, Joe sits on the side of the hearth, then looks at Uncle Remus saying, "The cage...five minutes before...beat...quiet again."

After taking a short moment to collect his self, Joe shoulders his bag and makes for the door. "...right back. More..," he says patting his bag. He makes a jabbing motion toward the still, (currently) unmoving hands. "Get......locked up. No time... wasted...already." He then leaves the shop only to return a few minutes later with a large black trash bag full of who knows what.

Having trusted Uncle Remus to lock up the animated hands while he was gone, Joe comes back noticeably calmer. "First things first. I'm going to need something that will erase about..eh 6 hours worth of memories. I don't want the guy that brought me here remembering anything from the time we met up to the time we put the whammy on him," says Joe, being much easier to understand now that he's relaxed a bit. "After I show you what kind of crazy stuff I've got this time, you've gotta come outside to see what I've brought. Pull out my whiskers if I'm lying, but it's the biggest f$#^ing alligator I've ever seen my whole life. We had to pick it up with a crane and haul here on a 63 ft trailer and it still hung past the end," Joe says excitedly! "But we'll get to that later. Take a look at this stuff and tell me what you make of it."

Joe then begins to lay out items from the duffle bag and trash bag he went out to get. (numbered items can be found here http://palladium-megaverse.com/forums/v ... 14#p738414 )

A bottle of 1992 Dom Perignon (53)
7 Roman Aureus Gold coins (29)
1 glass vial of what looks like water (57)
A small skull, carved out of some sort of clear, shining crystal (32)
A palm sized pyramid that also appears to be made of crystal. (37) Joe stares intently at the pyramid for a moment before shutting his eyes tight and setting it down. "This thing is wild," Joe says, "It has this eye in the peak. And when you look at it, it shows you your memories clear as can be, like they were recorded straight out of your brain."
A weathered, silver, crucifix with a sharp blade sticking out of the bottom (30) "Careful with this one, if you press the nail in Jesus' feet, the blade springs out," Joe warns. "It stuck me before I knew what was up," says Joe as he points to the blood on the blade and then a gash in his hand.
A folded plastic Halloween mask (78) This one appears to be the comic book villain The Green Goblin
A small bone that doesn't appear to be from a human.
An expired New York drivers license and a passport. Both issued to Falstaff Fuqhed. Joe laughs as he tosses these items among the others. "This schmuck tried to stuff Ernie in a wood chipper. We showed him though. Showed him right upside the back of his head till he didn't get up again!"
An inflatable orange life raft, in compressed cube form (59)
A velvet pouch, that Joe opens up, containing 72 diamonds of various sizes (92)
A jar of clear liquid. This also looks like water. (11)
A locked, hardbound diary with key. "This is kind of neat. The inscription on the inside says 'Property of Harry Houdini', except when you read the words they fade away. At least until you close the book and reopen it. Then they're there again until you read them," Joe says not disguising that he thinks this is very odd.

In a separate pile Joe carefully lays out a silver serving platter, a silver serving pitcher, and a small silver bathtub that looks like it belongs in a dolls house. "I'm not really sure what these do yet, but I have a strong feeling I should hold on to them," Joe tells Uncle Remus, the awe in his voice evident.

"I don't know what you might do with that monster 'gator. I wouldn't mind having a snazzy suit made out of the hide, or maybe some armor from it. That sucker was TOUGH. Hell, if you can think of something else, well I'm open to suggestion. As far as any damage, well we broke one of the front legs and it's got a iron pry bar shoved through the left eye socket into the brain. That's what took it out finally. Nothing else seemed to hurt it." Joe recounts. “Keep those hand things away from me though. Always talking in my head, ‘Please let us out. We won’t hurt you.’ All the time, never shutting up. If I never hear those voices again it’ll be too soon,” Joe says with a twitch.
“Anyway, that’s all I got this time around. What kind of a deal can we make?”

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 1:14 am
  

User avatar
Champion

Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Posts: 1792
Location: West Central region of Indiana
...pppssssttt. It's been a week.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:22 pm
  

User avatar
Virtuoso of Variants

Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 2:18 pm
Posts: 6905
Location: Lurking on rooftops like a proper gargoyle should, in and around Lakewood, WA.
Comment: "Your inferiority complex might be justified."
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
...pppssssttt. It's been a week.
It has been a week since he responded to YOUR post. Gryphon Chick and myself have been waiting close to three weeks now for responses to our posts.

_________________
"SG, you are a limitless fountain of Butt-Saving Advice. You Rock, Stone and Concrete." ~ TrumbachD
http://wiki.thedeificnmi.com/index.php?title=Main_Page


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Unread postPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 1:15 am
  

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Champion

Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Posts: 1792
Location: West Central region of Indiana
Stone Gargoyle wrote:
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
...pppssssttt. It's been a week.
It has been a week since he responded to YOUR post. Gryphon Chick and myself have been waiting close to three weeks now for responses to our posts.


Maybe he just likes me better :lol: :-P :-P :lol:

J/k Gargoyle. I can't give Julius any grief. I'm glad he let me be included in this fascinating thread. I might grouse a bit if he keeps me out of play for too long, but I've got other characters in epic adventures. Joe's more of a one session at a time guy.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


          Top  
 
Unread postPosted: Sat Apr 13, 2013 2:33 pm
  

User avatar
Virtuoso of Variants

Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 2:18 pm
Posts: 6905
Location: Lurking on rooftops like a proper gargoyle should, in and around Lakewood, WA.
Comment: "Your inferiority complex might be justified."
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Stone Gargoyle wrote:
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
...pppssssttt. It's been a week.
It has been a week since he responded to YOUR post. Gryphon Chick and myself have been waiting close to three weeks now for responses to our posts.


Maybe he just likes me better :lol: :-P :-P :lol:

J/k Gargoyle. I can't give Julius any grief. I'm glad he let me be included in this fascinating thread. I might grouse a bit if he keeps me out of play for too long, but I've got other characters in epic adventures. Joe's more of a one session at a time guy.
I would give him more grief IF I were actually waiting on the posts for information that I needed to use in a campaign. As it is, the responses are not critical to anything I currently have running. It is irritating none the less, though.

_________________
"SG, you are a limitless fountain of Butt-Saving Advice. You Rock, Stone and Concrete." ~ TrumbachD
http://wiki.thedeificnmi.com/index.php?title=Main_Page


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Unread postPosted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 2:12 pm
  

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Adventurer

Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2009 9:01 pm
Posts: 607
Location: "France...We come from France."
Comment: "Incredible Cosmic Power! ...teeny tiny living space."
Stone Gargoyle wrote:
I would give him more grief IF I were actually waiting on the posts for information that I needed to use in a campaign. As it is, the responses are not critical to anything I currently have running. It is irritating none the less, though.
I agree that it is irritating, but there is not much we can do until he comes back and posts responses.

_________________
"Sorry, I'm busy tonight...Same thing I do every night...Trying the take over the world..."


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Unread postPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 1:14 pm
  

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Hero

Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 1108
Location: Texas... what country are you from?
Comment: Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.
That's why it is called "the present".
Wow, have I really been gone that long, much less missed that much? :eek: My apologies, loyal customers, but life has thrown me many curves as of late keeping my attention focused on many things both wonderful and tragic. I thank you all for your patience with me and hope I haven't disappointed any of you too badly... now, on to the long awaited responses... first up....

_________________
Sure, lions and tigers are stronger...
But I've never seen a wolf jump through hoops in a circus


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Unread postPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 2:16 pm
  

User avatar
Hero

Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 1108
Location: Texas... what country are you from?
Comment: Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.
That's why it is called "the present".
Stone Gargoyle wrote:
JuliusCreed wrote:
The old man listens carefully and gives a slow nod, taking a sip from his tea cup and setting it to the side as he rises from his creaky old rocking chair. "Yes I can arrange a suit of Dragon Plate for you easily enough... Fire Breath will take a day to get set up though. I tend to keep those additional options off until they're actually ordered. As for a sword.... Well, I have quite an assortment of various types scattered about here. I understand you'd like something 'interesting'... but what sparks my curiosity is what exactly it is you might find interesting. Any ideas as to what you may be looking for, or shall I see what I can, or already have, whipped up for you?"
Getting a somewhat wicked gleam in his eye, the messenger/squire responds. "I am actually thinking of something that is capable of transforming into a dragon-like or snakelike form and reaching out to strike like a viper, allowing me to stand with the sword and allowing it to attack/strike on its own, similar to a snake or dragon head. Such a thing would have to be able to strike on its own or be directed by me with a bonus to strike, and the bite damage would be the normal blade damage plus a damage bonus when striking on its own, and I should like it to have a damage bonus when wielded as a sword also. Would such a weapon be possible?"

The old man listens carefully, giving a slow nod as he contemplates the request and sweeps his hand out in a grand gesture, summoning a gleaming long sword to hover before him, the bright steel blade shining over a dark grey hilt shaped like a serpent coiling from the fuller to the pommel, the head reared and open to strike. "I believe this may suit your needs quite well....."

Guardian Weapons: An experimental combination of magical items, taking the properties of Transformable Weapons and putting them together with Guardian Stones. The item starts out as a weapon of virtually any kind (this is just one of many variants that include many other style and creature combinations) with some part of the weapon shaped or carved in the form of some kind of animal, be it handle, pommel, blade or whatever. (for example, one could have a war hammer with a head shaped like a charging rhino or a sword with a snake for a handle) Upon command the weapon transforms into an animated likeness of the creature depicted, roughly human sized unless the creature depicted is larger than a human, in which case it is normal sized for an animal of its type. The creature follows simple commands from its wielder (attack, follow, stay, guard, etc.) and never strays more than 100 feet from his or her side. The creature may be captured and taken beyond the 100 feet limit, though it will fight mercilessly against its captors and automatically reverts back into its weapon form if taken out of range. Damage in weapon form is the same as a normal weapon of its type and the weapon may be further enchanted, though with only one additional enchantment. Combat statistics for the creature form vary with creature type, but all have the following base abilities:

AR: 15 SDC: 150
Attacks per melee: 4
Strike: +2
Parry/Dodge: +4

Abilities and additional bonuses based on creature type are as follows....

Snake/Serpent
Attacks per melee: As standard with either venomous bite (3d6 damage Successful save vs Lethal poison for half damage) Or constriction (2d6 damage per melee restrained effective PS: 25)
Natural Prowl ability: 70%
Able to fit through most tight spaces/crevices, no smaller than 4 inches wide
Additional +1 to strike and +2 to Dodge
Cannot Parry

Large Cats (Lions, Tigers, etc.)
Attacks per melee: As standard with either claws (4d6 damage), bite (3d6 damage) or a pouncing attack (2d6 damage plus knocks down victim and pins them under the beast)
Natural Prowl ability: 75%
Additional +1 to Parry/Dodge
+5 to Damage
Running Spd of 30

Small Wild Cats (Lynx, Bobcat, etc.)
Identical to Large Cats above (Effectively giant sized)

Canines (Wolves, Dogs, Coyotes, etc)
Attacks per melee: As standard with either Claws (3d6 damage) or bite (3d6 damage)
Natural Prowl ability: 60%
Natural Tracking ability: 70% (90% if a blood scent)
Additional +1 to Parry/Dodge
+3 to damage
Running Spd of 25

Bears
Attacks per melee: As standard with either claws (5d6 damage) bite (3d6 damage) or bearhug/crush (3d6 damage per melee, effective PS of 30)
Natural Tracking ability: 60% (80% if a blood scent)
+15 to Damage
Running Spd of 20 with short bursts of up to 30 for 5 minutes

Charging Animals (Bulls, Rhinos, etc.)
Attacks per melee: As standard with either horn/s (3d6 damage) kick (3d6 with front legs, 5d6 with rear legs) or a charge/trample (1d6x10 damage, uses 3 attacks, cannot be parried, dodge only)
+10 to damage
May be ridden by the wielder if desired, carrying him or her and up to 500 lbs of cargo or used as a beast of burden carrying up to 1000 pounds or pulling up to 3000 lbs (use standard Horsemanship skill at -15% or Horsemanship; Exotic with no penalty)
Running Spd of 25 with short bursts of up to 40 for 5 minutes

Many other types of animal are available for these weapons as well (to be statted out upon request by interested buyers) all with their own abilities and bonuses. Cost: 200,000 gold Other types of Guardian Weapons may become available as well that transform into something other than an animal, such as insects, demonic creatures and what have you (remember, they're based on Guardian stones) Stats and costs for these will be posted as they become available.

The old man gives a wry grin as the sword turns slowly in the air before the messenger. "Is this to your liking, sonny?"

_________________
Sure, lions and tigers are stronger...
But I've never seen a wolf jump through hoops in a circus


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Unread postPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 3:02 pm
  

User avatar
Hero

Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 1108
Location: Texas... what country are you from?
Comment: Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.
That's why it is called "the present".
Gryphon Chick wrote:
"The angler's Crossbow is reel interesting," the puck says, laughing to himself at his own joke. "I will have to consider that one. The tar bolts I had in mind were for more than just snaring or trapping an opponent, though. I was actually thinking of something I could shoot in the opponent's face or eyes to blind them and make it hard to breathe." He considers more. "I will take the Angler's Crossbow, but am still interested in something to shoot someone in the face to blind them or on their weapon to make it less sharp, something that will coat what it hits..." He considers more. "Suppose I'll take that Trap Shot enchantment also. Will the Angler's Crossbow fire regular shots as well as the special line or is it just for that purpose? If it can fire normal shots, I could have the Trap Shot enchantment done to the Angler's Crossbow, no? If not, I'll have the enchantment put on the regular crossbow I carry. I really have no use for the Screamer enchantment, however."

The old man gives a nod of assent with a slow smile. "Yes, the Angler's Crossbow fires normal ammo. Its ability is an activated one that can be used up to 4 times a day so yes, it would be easy enough to further enchant it with Trap Shot as well, though That would be the only other enchantment I could put on it. As for your original request, you're actually looking for something that transforms the bolt fired into something that coats its target, eh? That's a little tougher to manage... let's see.... maybe......."

Splattershot: An odd enchantment applied to bows, crossbows or slings only. Upon command from the wielder, the ammo fired from the weapon becomes a sticky goo akin to tar or slime upon impact, coating a roughly 3 foot square area with the stuff. Victims hit by a Splattershot find themselves slightly to severely impaired depending on exactly where they are struck.
A shot to the chest only slightly impedes movement, though anything else striking them in the body will likely be stuck fast until they take time to clean it and the goop off (-1 to Parry/Dodge, 50% chance of other 'stuff' getting stuck).

Being shot in the arm impairs combat a bit more severely (-2 to strike or parry with the affected arm) and may even cover whatever weapon is being held in goop, making it difficult to wield properly (30% chance of dropping it per melee).

A hit to one's leg drastically impedes movement (reduce Spd by 25%) and combat ability (-2 to Initiative -3 to Dodge) as the victim is suddenly slowed by the stuff coating his or her leg and foot and sticking him to the ground, though nowhere near as completely as a Carpet of Adhesion.

Being shot in the head or face is extremely disorienting and potentially deadly as the stuff coats the victims head in sticky slime, instantly blinding them (-6 to Strike, Parry and Dodge), muffling their hearing (making them terribly vulnerable to attacks from behind) and, worst of all, cutting off their breathing. Victims can save themselves from suffocation by spending the next melee round cleaning enough of the stuff away to be able to breathe, but this will use a total of 6 attacks. During this process the victim is still blinded, partially deafened and horribly vulnerable to attack. Victims taking their time to clean the stuff off have about 4 melee rounds before they will pass out and another 2 beyond that before they are smothered and die. The 6 attacks needed to clear away enough of the goop to breathe may be spent doing so at whatever time the victim chooses, effectively dividing his time between cleaning the stuff away and defending himself if he desires, but the sooner they act, the better. Once enough is cleared away to breathe, the victim is still somewhat blinded and hearing returns to mostly normal (reduce previous penalties to -3)

Multiple shots of Splattershot on the same victim will see the penalties increase cumulatively except for headshots which only increase the time needed to clear away enough to breathe by 2 melees per additional successful strike. Victims wearing a full head helmet with visor are NOT immune to the suffocation effect of a head shot, but will have a much easier time clearing the stuff away in order to be able to breathe. They just simply remove the helmet. :D Cost: 30,000 gold

The old man grins as he takes a sip from a steaming cup of tea. "Does that about cover what you're looking for?"

_________________
Sure, lions and tigers are stronger...
But I've never seen a wolf jump through hoops in a circus


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Unread postPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 6:20 pm
  

User avatar
Champion

Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Posts: 1792
Location: West Central region of Indiana
Oh noes!!! I was left out. :cry:

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


          Top  
 
Unread postPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 6:56 pm
  

User avatar
Hero

Joined: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 1108
Location: Texas... what country are you from?
Comment: Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.
That's why it is called "the present".
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Oh noes!!! I was left out. :cry:

No, Joe has not been left out nor forgotten... got interrupted with other stuff after getting my response in to GC and, quite frankly, Joe has a lot of stuff to process. :-D Give me a couple days to get something together for that one brah :D

_________________
Sure, lions and tigers are stronger...
But I've never seen a wolf jump through hoops in a circus


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Unread postPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 7:48 pm
  

User avatar
Champion

Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Posts: 1792
Location: West Central region of Indiana
JuliusCreed wrote:
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Oh noes!!! I was left out. :cry:

No, Joe has not been left out nor forgotten... got interrupted with other stuff after getting my response in to GC and, quite frankly, Joe has a lot of stuff to process. :-D Give me a couple days to get something together for that one brah :D

:badbad: :nh: Lol J/k I understand.
:ok: :ok: :ok:

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


          Top  
 
Unread postPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 5:05 pm
  

User avatar
Virtuoso of Variants

Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2007 2:18 pm
Posts: 6905
Location: Lurking on rooftops like a proper gargoyle should, in and around Lakewood, WA.
Comment: "Your inferiority complex might be justified."
JuliusCreed wrote:
Stone Gargoyle wrote:
JuliusCreed wrote:
The old man listens carefully and gives a slow nod, taking a sip from his tea cup and setting it to the side as he rises from his creaky old rocking chair. "Yes I can arrange a suit of Dragon Plate for you easily enough... Fire Breath will take a day to get set up though. I tend to keep those additional options off until they're actually ordered. As for a sword.... Well, I have quite an assortment of various types scattered about here. I understand you'd like something 'interesting'... but what sparks my curiosity is what exactly it is you might find interesting. Any ideas as to what you may be looking for, or shall I see what I can, or already have, whipped up for you?"
Getting a somewhat wicked gleam in his eye, the messenger/squire responds. "I am actually thinking of something that is capable of transforming into a dragon-like or snakelike form and reaching out to strike like a viper, allowing me to stand with the sword and allowing it to attack/strike on its own, similar to a snake or dragon head. Such a thing would have to be able to strike on its own or be directed by me with a bonus to strike, and the bite damage would be the normal blade damage plus a damage bonus when striking on its own, and I should like it to have a damage bonus when wielded as a sword also. Would such a weapon be possible?"

The old man listens carefully, giving a slow nod as he contemplates the request and sweeps his hand out in a grand gesture, summoning a gleaming long sword to hover before him, the bright steel blade shining over a dark grey hilt shaped like a serpent coiling from the fuller to the pommel, the head reared and open to strike. "I believe this may suit your needs quite well....."

Guardian Weapons: An experimental combination of magical items, taking the properties of Transformable Weapons and putting them together with Guardian Stones. The item starts out as a weapon of virtually any kind (this is just one of many variants that include many other style and creature combinations) with some part of the weapon shaped or carved in the form of some kind of animal, be it handle, pommel, blade or whatever. (for example, one could have a war hammer with a head shaped like a charging rhino or a sword with a snake for a handle) Upon command the weapon transforms into an animated likeness of the creature depicted, roughly human sized unless the creature depicted is larger than a human, in which case it is normal sized for an animal of its type. The creature follows simple commands from its wielder (attack, follow, stay, guard, etc.) and never strays more than 100 feet from his or her side. The creature may be captured and taken beyond the 100 feet limit, though it will fight mercilessly against its captors and automatically reverts back into its weapon form if taken out of range. Damage in weapon form is the same as a normal weapon of its type and the weapon may be further enchanted, though with only one additional enchantment. Combat statistics for the creature form vary with creature type, but all have the following base abilities:

AR: 15 SDC: 150
Attacks per melee: 4
Strike: +2
Parry/Dodge: +4

Abilities and additional bonuses based on creature type are as follows....

Snake/Serpent
Attacks per melee: As standard with either venomous bite (3d6 damage Successful save vs Lethal poison for half damage) Or constriction (2d6 damage per melee restrained effective PS: 25)
Natural Prowl ability: 70%
Able to fit through most tight spaces/crevices, no smaller than 4 inches wide
Additional +1 to strike and +2 to Dodge
Cannot Parry

Large Cats (Lions, Tigers, etc.)
Attacks per melee: As standard with either claws (4d6 damage), bite (3d6 damage) or a pouncing attack (2d6 damage plus knocks down victim and pins them under the beast)
Natural Prowl ability: 75%
Additional +1 to Parry/Dodge
+5 to Damage
Running Spd of 30

Small Wild Cats (Lynx, Bobcat, etc.)
Identical to Large Cats above (Effectively giant sized)

Canines (Wolves, Dogs, Coyotes, etc)
Attacks per melee: As standard with either Claws (3d6 damage) or bite (3d6 damage)
Natural Prowl ability: 60%
Natural Tracking ability: 70% (90% if a blood scent)
Additional +1 to Parry/Dodge
+3 to damage
Running Spd of 25

Bears
Attacks per melee: As standard with either claws (5d6 damage) bite (3d6 damage) or bearhug/crush (3d6 damage per melee, effective PS of 30)
Natural Tracking ability: 60% (80% if a blood scent)
+15 to Damage
Running Spd of 20 with short bursts of up to 30 for 5 minutes

Charging Animals (Bulls, Rhinos, etc.)
Attacks per melee: As standard with either horn/s (3d6 damage) kick (3d6 with front legs, 5d6 with rear legs) or a charge/trample (1d6x10 damage, uses 3 attacks, cannot be parried, dodge only)
+10 to damage
May be ridden by the wielder if desired, carrying him or her and up to 500 lbs of cargo or used as a beast of burden carrying up to 1000 pounds or pulling up to 3000 lbs (use standard Horsemanship skill at -15% or Horsemanship; Exotic with no penalty)
Running Spd of 25 with short bursts of up to 40 for 5 minutes

Many other types of animal are available for these weapons as well (to be statted out upon request by interested buyers) all with their own abilities and bonuses. Cost: 200,000 gold Other types of Guardian Weapons may become available as well that transform into something other than an animal, such as insects, demonic creatures and what have you (remember, they're based on Guardian stones) Stats and costs for these will be posted as they become available.

The old man gives a wry grin as the sword turns slowly in the air before the messenger. "Is this to your liking, sonny?"
"It is indeed, Sir Remus. I am definitely interested in the serpent/snake blade, provided it is okay with m'lord Kendragon that it be put on his tally. Also, if I have not asked about it already, I wanted to inquire about a shield which starts out small but which can expand to wrap around the user like a wall, or perhaps a protective bubble."

_________________
"SG, you are a limitless fountain of Butt-Saving Advice. You Rock, Stone and Concrete." ~ TrumbachD
http://wiki.thedeificnmi.com/index.php?title=Main_Page


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Unread postPosted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 2:23 pm
  

User avatar
Adventurer

Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2009 9:01 pm
Posts: 607
Location: "France...We come from France."
Comment: "Incredible Cosmic Power! ...teeny tiny living space."
JuliusCreed wrote:
Gryphon Chick wrote:
"The angler's Crossbow is reel interesting," the puck says, laughing to himself at his own joke. "I will have to consider that one. The tar bolts I had in mind were for more than just snaring or trapping an opponent, though. I was actually thinking of something I could shoot in the opponent's face or eyes to blind them and make it hard to breathe." He considers more. "I will take the Angler's Crossbow, but am still interested in something to shoot someone in the face to blind them or on their weapon to make it less sharp, something that will coat what it hits..." He considers more. "Suppose I'll take that Trap Shot enchantment also. Will the Angler's Crossbow fire regular shots as well as the special line or is it just for that purpose? If it can fire normal shots, I could have the Trap Shot enchantment done to the Angler's Crossbow, no? If not, I'll have the enchantment put on the regular crossbow I carry. I really have no use for the Screamer enchantment, however."

The old man gives a nod of assent with a slow smile. "Yes, the Angler's Crossbow fires normal ammo. Its ability is an activated one that can be used up to 4 times a day so yes, it would be easy enough to further enchant it with Trap Shot as well, though That would be the only other enchantment I could put on it. As for your original request, you're actually looking for something that transforms the bolt fired into something that coats its target, eh? That's a little tougher to manage... let's see.... maybe......."

Splattershot: An odd enchantment applied to bows, crossbows or slings only. Upon command from the wielder, the ammo fired from the weapon becomes a sticky goo akin to tar or slime upon impact, coating a roughly 3 foot square area with the stuff. Victims hit by a Splattershot find themselves slightly to severely impaired depending on exactly where they are struck.
A shot to the chest only slightly impedes movement, though anything else striking them in the body will likely be stuck fast until they take time to clean it and the goop off (-1 to Parry/Dodge, 50% chance of other 'stuff' getting stuck).

Being shot in the arm impairs combat a bit more severely (-2 to strike or parry with the affected arm) and may even cover whatever weapon is being held in goop, making it difficult to wield properly (30% chance of dropping it per melee).

A hit to one's leg drastically impedes movement (reduce Spd by 25%) and combat ability (-2 to Initiative -3 to Dodge) as the victim is suddenly slowed by the stuff coating his or her leg and foot and sticking him to the ground, though nowhere near as completely as a Carpet of Adhesion.

Being shot in the head or face is extremely disorienting and potentially deadly as the stuff coats the victims head in sticky slime, instantly blinding them (-6 to Strike, Parry and Dodge), muffling their hearing (making them terribly vulnerable to attacks from behind) and, worst of all, cutting off their breathing. Victims can save themselves from suffocation by spending the next melee round cleaning enough of the stuff away to be able to breathe, but this will use a total of 6 attacks. During this process the victim is still blinded, partially deafened and horribly vulnerable to attack. Victims taking their time to clean the stuff off have about 4 melee rounds before they will pass out and another 2 beyond that before they are smothered and die. The 6 attacks needed to clear away enough of the goop to breathe may be spent doing so at whatever time the victim chooses, effectively dividing his time between cleaning the stuff away and defending himself if he desires, but the sooner they act, the better. Once enough is cleared away to breathe, the victim is still somewhat blinded and hearing returns to mostly normal (reduce previous penalties to -3)

Multiple shots of Splattershot on the same victim will see the penalties increase cumulatively except for headshots which only increase the time needed to clear away enough to breathe by 2 melees per additional successful strike. Victims wearing a full head helmet with visor are NOT immune to the suffocation effect of a head shot, but will have a much easier time clearing the stuff away in order to be able to breathe. They just simply remove the helmet. :D Cost: 30,000 gold

The old man grins as he takes a sip from a steaming cup of tea. "Does that about cover what you're looking for?"
"Yes sir, that'll do. I'll get the Angler's Crossbow with the Trap Shot enchantment and have the Splattershot enchantment added to my regular crossbow. I hate to be without weapons while waiting, but I guess I'll have to suck it up and do combat in close quarters if it comes to it. How long will it take to enchant them? I suppose if I don't wander to far the chances of getting attacked won't be too awfully severe." Treestump pulls out a sack of coins and starts counting out the money needed for his requested purchases.

_________________
"Sorry, I'm busy tonight...Same thing I do every night...Trying the take over the world..."


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Unread postPosted: Wed May 01, 2013 11:39 pm
  

User avatar
Champion

Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Posts: 1792
Location: West Central region of Indiana
JuliusCreed wrote:
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Oh noes!!! I was left out. :cry:

No, Joe has not been left out nor forgotten... got interrupted with other stuff after getting my response in to GC and, quite frankly, Joe has a lot of stuff to process. :-D Give me a couple days to get something together for that one brah :D

It's been 11 days now. I hope that real world issues haven't sprung up on you and kicked your creativity in the nethers.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 11:38 pm
  

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Now it has been 12 days and I feel I owe Stone Gargoyle an apology when I basically told him to stop whining because it was taking Julius a while to respond. "Sorry SG."

The reason I'm getting fussy is that Joe is an actual PC, not just a character in the Uncle Remus thread. I can't play him while he's stuck in an interdimensional market.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 12:42 pm
  

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Virtuoso of Variants

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Comment: "Your inferiority complex might be justified."
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Now it has been 12 days and I feel I owe Stone Gargoyle an apology when I basically told him to stop whining because it was taking Julius a while to respond. "Sorry SG."

The reason I'm getting fussy is that Joe is an actual PC, not just a character in the Uncle Remus thread. I can't play him while he's stuck in an interdimensional market.
I believe he has been on Facebook, so I will PM you with his actual name and maybe you can message him on there and see what is up. Other than that, you'll just have to wait like the rest of us.

_________________
"SG, you are a limitless fountain of Butt-Saving Advice. You Rock, Stone and Concrete." ~ TrumbachD
http://wiki.thedeificnmi.com/index.php?title=Main_Page


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Unread postPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 10:29 pm
  

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In 1 hour and 34 minutes it will have been 3 weeks since I've heard from Uncle Remus. I hope all is well with him. If I have to wait much longer I'll be asking the GM to Soul Split Joe again so we can put him back in play. I'll also politely ask the GM that no mystical type loot be earned as it is becoming increasingly difficult to get it identified/appraised.

Nonetheless, this remains one of my favorite threads and I'm very glad to be a part of it.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 2:07 pm
  

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Location: Lurking on rooftops like a proper gargoyle should, in and around Lakewood, WA.
Comment: "Your inferiority complex might be justified."
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
In 1 hour and 34 minutes it will have been 3 weeks since I've heard from Uncle Remus. I hope all is well with him. If I have to wait much longer I'll be asking the GM to Soul Split Joe again so we can put him back in play. I'll also politely ask the GM that no mystical type loot be earned as it is becoming increasingly difficult to get it identified/appraised.

Nonetheless, this remains one of my favorite threads and I'm very glad to be a part of it.
Why doesn't your GM simply appraise the items via an NPC alchemist? Does he/she not know the value of the items he/she gave you?

_________________
"SG, you are a limitless fountain of Butt-Saving Advice. You Rock, Stone and Concrete." ~ TrumbachD
http://wiki.thedeificnmi.com/index.php?title=Main_Page


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Unread postPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 10:21 pm
  

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Hadn't ever given it a whole lot of thought. Also, it is fun to be a part of the Uncle Remus story line. I'll ask him to see if he wants to come with his own magic shop guy to figure out what to do with all the strange and wondrous things I find/steal...uhmm Did I say steal? I meant appropriate.

That's one of the few drawbacks of using the BTS Handy Dandy Random Adventure Generator, we assume that all the items it comes up with have some sort of magical background/properties/etc.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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Unread postPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 11:59 am
  

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Location: Texas... what country are you from?
Comment: Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
But today is a gift.
That's why it is called "the present".
My dearest friends, my loving fans, my unwitting dupe.... errrrrr, loyal patrons and customers! ;) :angel:

It is with a heavy heart that I announce my retirement from the Palladium boards. This is not to say I won't be back on ever again... quite the contrary, I'm certain I'll be back... just nowhere near as often as I, or many others I can think of, would like in order to maintain this shop as it should be. While I know there are some out there with the patience of Job and have put up with my oft lengthy delays with little more than a quick assurance of my return, I'm afraid I must tell you my visits now are going to be relegated to sparse drop-ins to see what may be new or inspirational, and maybe, just maybe, to drop off a small tidbit of something here and there. :D

Of course, this doesn't mean this thread has to die off. No boys and girls, Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane NEVER closes! However, it is pretty much open now to the weird and wonderful ideas you all may have out there. (I myself, will be taking whatever new ideas I get... and believe me, I have plenty brewing in my head... and getting them written down and sent out to see if they are worthy in the eyes of the Palladium Gawds and Old Ones for publishing. Whether relegated to Rifter articles or compiled into some form of supplement of their own, it makes no difference to me... keep your eyes open for Julius Creed and dear old Uncle Remus in the pages of Palladium books.) Whether inspired by me or someone else's work or an original bit of strangeness right off the top of your own head, feel free to bring it in and put it on the shelves for all to see and possibly purchase... just make sure you include a broad price range for whatever you bring in here... this is a business fer cryin' out loud! :lol:
And speaking of business, I, Uncle Remus, do hereby make my final business announcement....

As previously stated, Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane NEVER closes... and I meant it... starting today, Uncle Remus has become your 24 hour, one stop magic shop. Any where, any when, and now any TIME! If you can find my door, I guarantee you 2 things... 1> That door will be open and my shop will be in business. 2> I will NOT be undersold! That's right, you heard me! Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane refuses to be undersold anywhere, anywhen by anyone. Starting today, each and every magical item and enchanted doodad you find within my walls is HALF PRICE! That's right, 50% off each and every item in stock. Swords, armor, rings, potions, scrolls, custom enchantments... you name it, if I have it, you get it... for HALF PRICE! Not only that, I guarantee you the lowest price anywhere... if you can find an identical item ANYWHERE else for the same or lower price than what I advertise... I will give you the item at HALF OFF the COMPETITOR'S PRICE!! My potion costs 400... you find one sold somewhere else for 300... I'll sell it to you for 150!! Unbelievable? Believe it! Uncle Remus WILL NOT be undersold! Now you might be asking yourself "Wow... how long can this sale possibly last?" Well let me tell you something, ladies and gentlemen.... this is NOT a sale... this is set in stone, cast in iron, dyed in the wool STORE POLICY! This is NOT a limited time offer! This is NOT a crazy midnight madness snatch and run sale. This is how Uncle Remus does business. I want you to have the best magical items money can buy, whether they're mine or someone else's... and I will slash prices to the bone to make sure you get them. All you have to do is find my shop and you'll get the best prices on magical items anywhere in the Megaverse. "Where can I find your shop?" you ask? :twisted: Talk to your GM... he knows where to find me :twisted:
That's Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane; your 24 hour, one stop magic shop, getting you the magic you need.... for less. :wink:

This is Uncle Remus, saying good luck and great gaming to all of you... my fans, my customers.... and most importantly, my friends. Without all of you and many others like you, I would not be what I am today. And for that, I thank you.

_________________
Sure, lions and tigers are stronger...
But I've never seen a wolf jump through hoops in a circus


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Unread postPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:46 pm
  

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Location: Lurking on rooftops like a proper gargoyle should, in and around Lakewood, WA.
Comment: "Your inferiority complex might be justified."
Okay, so I hope you at least settled things with Nate, or if not his GM can come up with values for the magical items.

The family finishes up with the blood donations and such for the various furniture items. The squire negotiates and gets a good deal on a wrap-around shield (the stats for with shall have to be forthcoming). All return home to the castle, which is furnished and finished as agreed with Uncle Remus. In addition to the other purchases, a hot sauna and bathing area is also added.

I shall contribute items to this thread where possible, but you shall be missed, JuliusCreed.

_________________
"SG, you are a limitless fountain of Butt-Saving Advice. You Rock, Stone and Concrete." ~ TrumbachD
http://wiki.thedeificnmi.com/index.php?title=Main_Page


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Unread postPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 9:51 pm
  

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Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
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Location: West Central region of Indiana
SG I haven't heard anything..Other than the goodbye post. I do appreciate you looking out for me. Seeing as how most if not all of Joe's adventures and loot come from The Handy Dandy BTS Random Adventure Generator thread (pretty sure I linked it above) I might ask Gallahan (as item creator) to chime in on it But he's not around much either.

_________________
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:
Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:
And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:


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