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SRoss wrote:

Alpha 11 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Six: "Wait.....this isn't the Armistice Station...and we're supposed to blow YOU up, not- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"
(sound of Cylon Centurions hauling ass...their own...for the exits)

Six: "Whew, I made it."

EShemarian #1: (Tazing Six) "Think we can do anything with this?"

EShemarian #2: "I'm sure I can come up with something. If not, we'll give it to Queen Annie."

I think she would rather die then that happen.

taalismn wrote:Queen Annie: "Bring me Corg!"
Corg: (offcamera) "HOW LONG IS THIS WRETCHED GAG GOING TO CONTINUE!!!????"
QA: "Then use him to beat Baltar to death."
" "
"By your command!"

SRoss wrote:"NEXT ON MACROSS' GOT TALENT! BLACK BOLT SINGS MINMEI'S GREATEST HITS!!!"

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:"NEXT ON MACROSS' GOT TALENT! BLACK BOLT SINGS MINMEI'S GREATEST HITS!!!"

"...Maybe you should have lip-synched this one, boss...."

Cut to Kyle, Edwards and Karno sitting on a sound stage.

Announcer: "NEXT ON LOVE CONNECTION One of these lucky fellows will win a date with our newest contestant!"

Hild: (Screaming through the ball gag) "NONE OF YOU ARE FIT TO LICK MY BOOTS!!!"

Urd:

SRoss wrote:
Hild: (Screaming through the ball gag) "NONE OF YOU ARE FIT TO LICK MY BOOTS!!!"

Urd:

Actually should be Mara, not Hild...Hild's Urd's mother...unless she REALLY has a spat with her mom going and doesn't care about Momz retaliating with the nuclear option.
Mara's the regular series troublemaker and fair game for getting blown up or strung out during thunderstorms. I can TOTALLY see Urd putting Mara up for humiliation like this.

Mara: (Waking up in a belly dancer's outfit) "Whaa ... Where am I?"

The light comes on, and she finds herself in Kabbalac chains.

Old Men: (In a haze of smoke) "DANCE! DANCE! DANCE! UUUUUUULLLLLAAAA!!!"

Hild: (Play Foosball with Kyle, Edwards and Karno's heads ... They're still alive) "Where have you been!?!"

Mara: (Disheveled and still wearing her bedlah and veils) "Urd sold me into a sorcerer's harem. By the way did you know Kaballists could bind demons?"

Hild: "Only the wimpy-ass ones dear."

Mara:

Mara: "Worse yet, when I got away I had to accept charity from Belldandy...."

Galactus appears above Tokyo 3.



Mirya: (Over the Emergency Broadcast System) "GET IN THE ROBOT SHINJI!!!"

Galactus: "DO YOU REALLY THINK ONE EVA CAN STOP ME?"

Desdemona arrives in Unit 66 Mark 6...

Galactus:

SRoss wrote:Galactus: "DO YOU REALLY THINK ONE EVA CAN STOP ME?"

Desdemona arrives in Unit 66 Mark 6...

Galactus:

(crack of knuckles)
"Let's dance, fatso."

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Galactus: "DO YOU REALLY THINK ONE EVA CAN STOP ME?"

Desdemona arrives in Unit 66 Mark 6...

Galactus:

(crack of knuckles)
"Let's dance, fatso."

Quill: "Cool a dance off!" (Hits play)

Galactus: "HERE'S SOME MOVES THAT SURVIVED THE PREVIOUS UNIVERSE!"
Desdemona: "The previous universe wants them back."

SRoss wrote:Cut to Kyle, Edwards and Karno sitting on a sound stage.

Announcer: "NEXT ON LOVE CONNECTION One of these lucky fellows will win a date with our newest contestant!"

Hild: (Screaming through the ball gag) "NONE OF YOU ARE FIT TO LICK MY BOOTS!!!"

Urd:

SRoss wrote:Mara: (Waking up in a belly dancer's outfit) "Whaa ... Where am I?"

The light comes on, and she finds herself in Kabbalac chains.

Old Men: (In a haze of smoke) "DANCE! DANCE! DANCE! UUUUUUULLLLLAAAA!!!"

Can see Urd doing that to her.

SRoss wrote:Hild: (Play Foosball with Kyle, Edwards and Karno's heads ... They're still alive) "Where have you been!?!"

Mara: (Disheveled and still wearing her bedlah and veils) "Urd sold me into a sorcerer's harem. By the way did you know Kaballists could bind demons?"

Hild: "Only the wimpy-ass ones dear."

Mara:

taalismn wrote:Mara: "Worse yet, when I got away I had to accept charity from Belldandy...."

THAT would really burn her.

SRoss wrote:Galactus appears above Tokyo 3.

"I HUNGER!"

Mirya: (Over the Emergency Broadcast System) "GET IN THE ROBOT SHINJI!!!"

SRoss wrote:Galactus: "DO YOU REALLY THINK ONE EVA CAN STOP ME?"

Desdemona arrives in Unit 66 Mark 6...

Galactus:

LET'S GET REALY TO RUMBAL!!!!

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Galactus: "DO YOU REALLY THINK ONE EVA CAN STOP ME?"

Desdemona arrives in Unit 66 Mark 6...

Galactus:

(crack of knuckles)
"Let's dance, fatso."

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Galactus: "DO YOU REALLY THINK ONE EVA CAN STOP ME?"

Desdemona arrives in Unit 66 Mark 6...

Galactus:

(crack of knuckles)
"Let's dance, fatso."

Quill: "Cool a dance off!" (Hits play)

Oh good grief.

taalismn wrote:Galactus: "HERE'S SOME MOVES THAT SURVIVED THE PREVIOUS UNIVERSE!"
Desdemona: "The previous universe wants them back."

Grel: "Hey boss! Remember that Christmas we had a bomber dressed as Santa?"

Kyron: "Yeah, what about it?"

Grel: "I did yah one better!"

Robot Santa: (Reaching in his sack) "HO HO HO! SOMEONE'S BEEN A BAD ZENTRAEDI!!!"

Kyron: "I Hate You Grel..."

SRoss wrote:Grel: "Hey boss! Remember that Christmas we had a bomber dressed as Santa?"

Kyron: "Yeah, what about it?"

Grel: "I did yah one better!"

Robot Santa: (Reaching in his sack) "HO HO HO! SOMEONE'S BEEN A BAD ZENTRAEDI!!!"

Kyron: "I Hate You Grel..."

SKYNET: <<Why didn't I think of that?>>

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Grel: "Hey boss! Remember that Christmas we had a bomber dressed as Santa?"

Kyron: "Yeah, what about it?"

Grel: "I did yah one better!"

Robot Santa: (Reaching in his sack) "HO HO HO! SOMEONE'S BEEN A BAD ZENTRAEDI!!!"

Kyron: "I Hate You Grel..."

SKYNET: <<Why didn't I think of that?>>

ARCHIE: <<Because, you, are inferior to me.>>

Cut to a Shemarian in a sexy Mrs. Claus outfit ... Loaded with more weapons then a Republican's wet dream.

Next on The Launch Khyron will perform one of Minmei's greatest hits.

Kyle sneezes...

Sisters of Cle... err, Repentia: "INFECTION!!! UNCLEAN!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!"

Random Blood Rider: "I like these girl's style."

Charon: "Hang on, hang on... There's no procedure for wither or not I can send Kyle back while he's still burning... I'll have to check with Hades."

SRoss wrote:Charon: "Hang on, hang on... There's no procedure for wither or not I can send Kyle back while he's still burning... I'll have to check with Hades."

"Mmmm....promethium's supposed to be damned near in-extinguishable. Get back to you on that one, Char."

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Charon: "Hang on, hang on... There's no procedure for wither or not I can send Kyle back while he's still burning... I'll have to check with Hades."

"Mmmm....promethium's supposed to be damned near in-extinguishable. Get back to you on that one, Char."

I fell in a burning Ron of go---
That is not funny stop that.

Edwards & the Regent: (Looking at Kyle) "GOOD GOD MAN! YOUR ON FIRE!!!"

Kyle: (Sipping his beer) "Hey, it's not the worst thing that's happened..."

Chuck Norris kicks in the door...

Chuck: "I just got a phone call saying someone named Kyle is going around calling me a pansy!"

Kyle: "THAT'S the worst thing that's happened to me today."

Minmei: (Hanging up her phone) "Aren't I a stinker..."

Awesome Things the UEsG Dimensional Corps Is NOT Allowed to Do:

-Rebuild the Wall of Westeros...out of BOLOs....

"Okay, let's move the wall...NORTH."

Night King: "Well...####."

"It is important to not confuse xeroform bandages with xenomorph aliens when dressing your wounds, as the former will help you heal, while the latter is apt to lay eggs in your stomach."
-Excerpt from the official UEsG First Aid Manual

taalismn wrote:Awesome Things the UEsG Dimensional Corps Is NOT Allowed to Do:

- Issue Saber Cyclones to the Survey Corps.

Titans:

wyrmraker wrote:"It is important to not confuse xeroform bandages with xenomorph aliens when dressing your wounds, as the former will help you heal, while the latter is apt to lay eggs in your stomach."
-Excerpt from the official UEsG First Aid Manual

"Cauterization and area-of-effect sanitization with heavy incendiary weapons is standard procedure."

taalismn wrote:

wyrmraker wrote:"It is important to not confuse xeroform bandages with xenomorph aliens when dressing your wounds, as the former will help you heal, while the latter is apt to lay eggs in your stomach."
-Excerpt from the official UEsG First Aid Manual

"Cauterization and area-of-effect sanitization with heavy incendiary weapons is standard procedure."

"Note: Consumption of UEEF Emergency rations, sufficient to kill implanted eggs/embryos."

SRoss wrote:
"Note: Consumption of UEEF Emergency rations, sufficient to kill implanted eggs/embryos."

Specially formulated by the dietary experts at Ice Guard labs....

taalismn wrote:Awesome Things the UEsG Dimensional Corps Is NOT Allowed to Do:

Blow up France.

"OH COME ON! It's not like anyone would miss it!!!"

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:Awesome Things the UEsG Dimensional Corps Is NOT Allowed to Do:

Blow up France.

"OH COME ON! It's not like anyone would miss it!!!"

Dutch and Belgians: "We would. France keeps us from being neighbors with Spain."

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:Awesome Things the UEsG Dimensional Corps Is NOT Allowed to Do:

Blow up France.

"OH COME ON! It's not like anyone would miss it!!!"

Dutch and Belgians: "We would. France keeps us from being neighbors with Spain."

And thus the third Euro war started.

Awesome Things the UEsG Dimensional Corps Is NOT Allowed to Do:



Drop an anonymous tip to the GANTZ kids that Lord Voldemort and the DeathEaters are a secret alien conspiracy to take over the world.

Awesome Things the UEsG Dimensional Corps Is NOT Allowed to Do:

Give the Norma actual flight suits.

Awesome Things the UEsG Dimensional Corps Is NOT Allowed to Do:

Fill the White House with Tribbles...

Lisa: "Well, I guess me, Rick and the rest of us Macross folks go to Big West now..."

Dana: "What about the rest of us!?!"

Khyron: (Looking at Dana, Scott and the others) "I guess you're just boned..."

SRoss wrote:Lisa: "Well, I guess me, Rick and the rest of us Macross folks go to Big West now..."

Dana: "What about the rest of us!?!"

Khyron: (Looking at Dana, Scott and the others) "I guess you're just boned..."

Rick: "Aside from that one music video, I don't think 'Misa' and I ever appear again. It might be back to limbo..."
Khyron: "Yeah, come to think of it, it sucks for us too. Max and Mriya are the only ones who really make it."
Exedore: "I don't want that big ugly tumor-head look...."

Annie: "Hey! What if we slip into the multiverse? I bet there's cute boys on RIFTS Earth..."

Scott: I think the 3 Galaxies are way better.

gaby wrote:Scott: I think the 3 Galaxies are way better.

"And how would you know?"

taalismn wrote:

gaby wrote:Scott: I think the 3 Galaxies are way better.

"And how would you know?"

Ariel: (Clinging to Scott's arm) "We were shopping around for a place to set up a Hive and rise our children."

SRoss wrote:
Ariel: (Clinging to Scott's arm) "We were shopping around for a place to set up a Hive and rise our children."

PB to HG: "Come on, think of the -kids-!!!!!"

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

gaby wrote:Scott: I think the 3 Galaxies are way better.

"And how would you know?"

Ariel: (Clinging to Scott's arm) "We were shopping around for a place to set up a Hive and rise our children."

Random Mars Division Survivor" Scott I hope you have a good health plan. "

Scott: " Why? "

Random Mars Division Survivor: " You do know that Invid human hybrids give birth to multiple children right? "

Random Medtech: " What your friend is trying to say is that Invid human hybrids give birth to enough offspring to fill a typical hive, also the Invid human hybrid pregnancies last anywhere from one to three years. "

Random Medtech: " Also the entire birthing process lasts anywhere from one to three months, so Ariel is going to need a consent supply of heavy duty painkillers juring the birthing process, also juring the pregnancy cycle the Invid human hybrid tend to go through rapid and random mood swings from being very lusty and affectionate to full blown murderous psychosis that would make all of the war crimes and crimes against humanity in human history look like a quiet honeymoon night between virgin newlyweds.

Scott:

*Scott wonders away contemplate suicide while the Random Mars Division Survivor and the Random Medtech continue to walk down the hallway*

Random Mars Division Survivor: " You were kidding right? "

Random Medtech: " I never kid about pregnancies and child birth. "

The Regis: " This should weed out the unsuitable humans who would defile my children. "

Kargan3033 wrote:[
Random Mars Division Survivor: " You were kidding right? "

Random Medtech: " I never kid about pregnancies and child birth. "

The Regis: " This should weed out the unsuitable humans who would defile my children. "

Tolliver: "Let me tell you some more things..."

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[
Random Mars Division Survivor: "You were kidding right?"

Random Medtech: "I never kid about pregnancies and child birth."

The Regis: "This should weed out the unsuitable humans who would defile my children."

Tolliver: "Let me tell you some more things..."

Lunk: "FORGODSAKESAVEME!!! Mine's an Otaku too!!!"

Several young men turn around and head AWAY from the Invid Princess guest quarters... leaving Karno as a decoy.

SRoss wrote:[:

Several young men turn around and head AWAY from the Invid Princess guest quarters... leaving Karno as a decoy.

Karno makes a better decoy if you set him on FIRE first.

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:[:

Several young men turn around and head AWAY from the Invid Princess guest quarters... leaving Karno as a decoy.

Karno makes a better decoy if you set him on FIRE first.

Random UEEF Pilot: "Good idea, thanks!" (Shoots Karno with a flare gun)

On the planet ROBOTECH...

Max: "Our world is doomed, but your mother and I built you this escape rocket."

Shinji: "Isn't this just my EVA Capsule with some boosters and a fold drive attached?"

Mirya: "GET IN THE ROCKET SHINJI!" (Shoves him in, locks the hatch)

The rocket races away from the exploding planet into multiversal space...

Shinji: "I'm alone, the only survivor..."

Yandere-chan: (From behind him in the capsule) "Hiiiii Shinji..."

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[
Random Mars Division Survivor: " You were kidding right? "

Random Medtech: " I never kid about pregnancies and child birth. "

The Regis: " This should weed out the unsuitable humans who would defile my children. "

Tolliver: "Let me tell you some more things..."

The Random Medtech is quickly section8'ed and placed on heavy duty drugs due to the mental scaring after her conversation with Tolliver in her very own *Comfy Room* at *Club Med*

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:[:

Several young men turn around and head AWAY from the Invid Princess guest quarters... leaving Karno as a decoy.

Karno makes a better decoy if you set him on FIRE first.

Random UEEF Pilot: "Good idea, thanks!" (Shoots Karno with a flare gun)

*Cut to the flaming Karno and a gaggle of Invid Princesses*

Green Haired Invid Princess#1: " This is your *hot* date?"

Blue haired Invid Princess: " Well he was the only male I could find. "

Green Haired Invid Princess#2: " I thought you had more standards then this, you are a disgrace to the Invid race. "

Green Haired Invid Princess#3: " Wow you must really be disparate to be scraped the sub levels of the barrel for a mate. "

Green Haired Invid Princess#4: " Say isn't that Tench over there? "

*Stampede*

Blue Haired Invid Princess: " Maybe the others are right, *Looks at the flaming Karno*, come on I have *NEEDS* and I'm really *excited* to try some of the arts of lovemaking that Yandere-chan showed me before she went hunting for her *mate*